Feelings being pushed to the side.
Yesterday, when me and my mom were waiting at my sibling’s school to pick them up after dismissal, I told her that I was crying about the career path I want to choose because I’m graduating soon and what’s my purpose? She of course made it all about herself. She said “well I cry too about mine” then she told me I need to pray to God about it. Great talk!! Like thanks for just pushing my feelings to the side.
Then, after we got my sibling from school, we went to the store, me and my sibling stayed in the car while my mom went in the store. When she came back, my sibling forgot to take the key out for the car alarm wouldn’t go off. She got mad at them about that and when I told her that they probably didn’t know and that she didn’t tell them beforehand. She called me crazy and said that I’m dramatic. This is why I don’t even say anything because she always makes me feel low and like I can’t stick up for myself or anything then she expects me to “speak up” when talking to people but she doesn’t know that she downs me by saying stuff like that. I feel like I don’t have a voice. Now I understand what my dreams/ nightmares mean when I can’t scream or anything because that is how I feel in real life. I don’t feel heard by anyone.
What she said to me yesterday really affected me, I didn’t talk anymore all yesterday. Then she had the nerve to ask me “what’s wrong” when we got home.
Had me wondering, am I dramatic then when it’s a really hurtful situation? I guess I’m dramatic then too as well.
Not to be that kid but I’m thankful and everything but staying in this house with my mom has drove me insane. All these years, because of how she doesn’t understand kids emotions and stuff/ pushing them to the side. I don’t know how much more I can take.
Then she gets mad when I don’t talk, but then also gets mad when I do talk??? Like what???
Nobody fights like mothers and daughters. I think mothers and daughters both need for the other to hear and try to understand them. It can be an emotional time with the mother getting older and going through perimenopause and then as the daughter grows up and gets her period. We need to listen to and care for each other.
@SweetPea321 But the thing is, we don’t fight though. I don’t talk back to her or anything. I listen to her and stuff but when it comes to me, wanting emotional support, she gets mad at me for being sad and stuff and tells me to go to God. She literally once said that she was gonna make me sleep in the garage. She also banged on my door once when I was sad and said she was “worried about me”. Does that seem like she’s worried? I listen to her and care about her etc. Nobody understands me lol I don’t know why I still even try. I’m still not being heard.
She probably cares very much but doesn't know how to make you feel better 🤔
@strwberryhearts I'm really sorry this is happening to you. I feel like most adults have this idea...this refusal that "we're too young", as they always say. Their generation didn't deal with something like this and they don't really like to open their eyes for new things. Most people, anyways. A similar situation is happening to me. I understand how it's very frustrating, when you get punished or judged for not saying anything, but when you do, it's the wrong thing to say. I don't really have great advice, but I personally think that you should communicate with her. It doesn't have to be a fight, it could possibly be a conversation. You should tell her, "Hey, I love you Mom, and I appreciate all of this, but I feel like we have some flaws." Don't use those words, because that's how I would say it. And if you disagree, that's okay too. Just know that I'm listening and understanding your point of view.