Fish out of water
Hi,
our family is in the process of moving to a much smaller community and much further away from the city, both of which I am happy about. I’m having a lot of anxiety though about the people who might live in this community because I am a bit of an odd person compared to most. I wear a lot of horror themed t shirts and when I was in high school, my mom forced me to wear modest, preppy type clothes, so in my thirties and now almost fourties, I’m transitioning to a more goth look. It takes a lot of courage and pumping myself up to go out in some of these clothes because I was told my entire teen years that these types of clothing were ugly and awful, but where we live now, it’s not so unusual to see people in goth and emo clothing. I’m afraid I’m this new small community that I’ll be laughed at or our family will be left out of things because of me and I don’t know if it’s better just to put the person I’m trying to be away until we can make trips into the city, or if I should just be proud to be finally feeling like I look the way I want. I also have two daughters who I worry about. One is very much like her dad and will fit in anywhere, but the other is a lot like me and also has a fun/funky taste in fashion. I wouldn’t want to make anything more difficult for either of them and I also don’t want things to be difficult for my more fashion funky kid. I realize this is a long read and if you’re still here, thank you. I would just appreciate any advice anyone has.
@intellectualAvocado1408
You can't determine what a whole town will think of you before you are there. Wear the clothes you want, but if you notice the whole town is very conservative, perhaps introduce them to the goth look slowly. Start with a black shirt and some black lipstick before walking into the local bakery looking like a post apocalyptic raver
@intellectualAvocado1408
Is this just about looking different, or in fact, being different? If it's just about looking different, then probably as suggested earlier, break your appearance in slowly.
If it's about being different, being the real you, then, honestly, you know the answer: you gotta be your true self. Never mind if it impacts the rest of your family, they will sort it out. To your kids you may become the mom they don't wanna know in public (as if that isn't already true, right?), but so what, they'll still love you, right? Your husband may be embarrassed - but if he is, then you have learned something about him that you didn't know before: he cannot accept the real you.
Will you push away some people - yes. Again, you will have learned something about these people. Will you attract other people who are like you and make true friends - of course you will.
