I don’t know what to do anymore
I’ve served in the USMC for 11 years and I was retired with honors and a Purple Heart after getting paralyzed from the waist down and losing my arm. I can’t sleep and do anything I feel so alone but it feels as if I can’t reach out to anyone because I feel like a monster. The VA couldn’t care less either I don’t know what to do anymore
*during combat
1 800 273 8255 (TALK) This is a Veteran Crisis Line. Please do not feel like a monster because you are not. I am so sorry you feel alone. Is there a support group through the VA? Sometimes it does take us reaching out. Please do try to reach out. I know sometimes it's hard, but it will be worth it.
It’s impossible to find one they wouldn’t even talk to me
I really appreciate your help
Hi @TheDevilDog, yeah, you should get support from the VA support line. Meanwhile i can recommend a book that could help you with your current situation, it helped me a great deal with my anxiety problems, insomnia. “When panick attacks” by Dr David Burns. Make sure to go through all the exercise in the book. I hope it will help you too. Lots of love and stay safe! You are not a monster!🤗
Thank you I really appreciate it I’ll try reading it
Monsters are those who make you feel like that , don't be afraid you did a great job, reach out
Thank you I just don’t know how to deal with some reactions I get I know it seems like a very small thing but I’m in so much pain already
It's not a small thing at all
This one person was bullying me for it and it made me feel like nothing more but a monster
I don't know what to say to make u feel a little better not like monster cause how could you be , how could someone who keeps other save can be a monster, tell that person who making you feel like that ' when you ......... I felt like a monster'. I don't know how to comfort you but I wanted to, please try to consider @soar2shine and @Mrprosper said. I'm new here also someone who is in pain and suffering but not more than you , seeing you reaching out to discuss your pain, I guess I can also fight for myself, and i can relate what you said about the reactions you're getting from other, for first I was also making every effort to make them feel good about me but now I don't care cause that effort they don't deserve so I give them back the same reaction they give me. Even now also if you feel like monster let me tell you a secret - monsters are stronger then human. I hope you can cope up with your problems and live your life like a (stronger 😃😄).but i guess you already are cause you already are fighter. I'm naive so I might said something up or down , forgive me for that, if I'd .
Lots of love to you, you are not alone 😊.
Thank you so much I really appreciate you I’m here for you whenever you need someone I’ll try my best to get better and get some help
@TheDevilDog..first things first I am not an injured veteran so I'm not able to totally relate to your situation. Secondly you are the bravest person ever giving a part of yourself literally to keep this country safe and saving others in the process. Thank you from someone who never feels safe for other reasons. Reaching out here on 7cups was an amazing step on your part. Ppl here are incredibly supportive and wonderful. I am in therapy for severe child abuse, sexual assault and toxic workplace. I'm diagnosed CPTSD MDD Anxiety. I am up and down on the rollercoaster of emotions that go with all this and I can say getting help from a professional therapist was the pivotal point in starting on a healing road. I am taking meds and they help my depression, and my ability to sleep. No comparison intended here...I have a physical ailment that's painful 24/7. Pain changes ppl and it changes their ability to cope. That being said I think the pain of trauma is similar as I suffer from flashbacks and identity crisis, DID, and a boatload of other stuff. I am in no way comparing my situation but I want you to know I care about your suffering and I so badly want to help you in sharing some of my story. I hope it helps you in some way. I know the dark pit of pain and don't like the thought of anyone being there for any reason. Remember this: You are a Hero not a monster. You are a survivor. You are a beautiful person and have alot of love to give. I found my therapist through my primary care Dr. And my PCP prescribed some meds for me on the spot. ( I was suicidall) She could see I was in dire need so I could at least get some sleep. Sleep has alot of healing power in its own right. You are worthy of the help you need and I would push like a squeaky annoying wheel until someone helps. I'm here, I care, and pls reach out anytime. I'm around here alot , as I'm unable to work because of my condition. Ppl can't see my injuries from abuse/ assault so they don't understand me. Ppl here see me and help so much. You are not alone, 7 cups has been a lifesaver for me. I see a wonderful person in you!Best always 💜 ABB
Thank you you’re so sweet and all the love to you I’m here for you anytime. I wish the best for you and you’re an inspiration for me you’re so sweet and strong I wish all the best for you ABB
It just occurred to me,if you don't have one already, maybe if it fits your needs a special pup might be just the thing to get you started...your States disability association might help you find one special dog.( My brother qualified and has one) ( Sorry I'm brainstorming here lol)💜ABB
Thank you I’ll try to see if I can get one ❤️
@TheDevilDog.. remember too , bullies are really cowards who hate themselves and use others and victimize them to make themselves feel better. 💜ABB
That’s true god bless you
you are not a monster! you are a hero!!! we all respect you and want you to feel the love and support that you deserve!!! I know the VA can be daunting and it does feel like you are not cared for. I am a registered nurse and we get vets in our facility for wound care and short term stays...I purposely try to let them know how amazing they are. I want you to know how amazing you are!!! because of you, I have freedom. I thank you! also, i know therapy is hard, but tricare will allow you to pick any therapy and you need to go talk to someone and get connected into social groups....you still have so much life to live!
Thank you so much and I really appreciate your work you’re doing gods work by helping people. God bless you
keep your head up, you are amazing. and you don't have to be alone. I saw your other post about not being able to get in to a therapist. you can call civilian therapists and they will accept tricare...also, if you need transportation, social services can set up a transport service or you can set it up by calling...your therapist can get you into support groups. you can take it at your own pace. you can ask for a vet centered support group to talk about your trauma and you can also ask for civilian support group bc you need to get back into life. I'm sorry you are in so much pain. getting out will help that
Thank you so much, the thing is that I never got a therapist. I just don’t know how to deal with my feelings anymore I’ve done everything I couldn’t but I can’t do it anymore I don’t know who to reach out to
@TheDevilDog...I understand your hesitation and it's normal. I hesitated for a long time before I got help ... probably 4 months or so. I had to work up my courage plus I was suffering trauma CPtsd and I felt numb, anxious, & depressed all at once It was weird for me for awhile before I got help. I had to get to a wall before I reached out ...be gentle with yourself and come here for support when you need it. This is my safe place. 💜ABB
Thank you so much for your support and I hope you’ll be much better soon ❤️
@TheDevilDog...I appreciate your support as well. I am a little better. It's been 3 years since my assault and I'm improved. It's been alot of work emotionally and painful ..but I see looking back how important it is to face the demons so to speak. My emotional status was in a dangerous place. But I have learned so much about myself and why I am the way I am. Acceptance is the hardest part of my journey. I'm stubborn! Lol. I also had self perfectionism problems because of my childhood. Anyway your not alone, I'm here, 7 cups is here. I struggle every day in many ways but I learned to take it one minute at a time. I was thinking if you lived next door to me I'd be dragging you over here for dinner with my family.. .my son's I think got to be around your age, my daughter is younger and drives me crazy lol and my hub is like a stand up comedian ..we are an interesting group. My kids are adults and have lives but they live close by and I love that. My hub has alot of old trauma but he cracks jokes and that's how he deals with his. Our daughter had a near death medical emergency recently and she's got her struggles too( I took her to hospital and saved her life). Our son is a little OCD but has the kindest heart . he lost his best friend in Afghanistan when they were 20( IED). I hope my posts help in some way. Pls if they don't, let me know. I don't want to hurt you in anyway just support best I can from here. 💜ABB
I am so sorry for his loss and god bless his friend you are so strong and you’re an inspiration for me god bless you ❤️
It can be hard to accept help, it tooked me 6 months, but i realize that it has no sense to keep fighting with the panick attacks, the intrusive thoughts and all of that. But good news for you, you will get better! i’m sure of that! God bless and take care.
@TheDevilDog...thank you, I hope your doing okay today, I'm praying🙏 for you and Im thinking about you..💜 ABB
@MrProsper god bless you and I hope you’re okay buddy
I hope you are ok too! And you will get better, i’m sure of that. Don’t despair, we are here for you. If you ever need to talk to someone i am here.
Thank you so much I just don’t know how to deal with this horror
@TheDevilDog ..I'm so sorry your stuck ....I felt stuck for a long long time. During that time I journaled all my thoughts good or bad into a notebook . It helped some and when I did find a therapist I brought the journals with me to show how I was feeling and learn some ways to cope ...I am going to share with you a part of my story ( even though it's not like yours ). the level of trauma pain I felt inside ...in my stomach after my assault....it felt like a black dark pit with a knife stuck in it 24/7. I couldn't eat, sleep or get out of bed. I had to leave my job because I was having bad meltdowns in the bathroom there. I'm talking I'd be in there for an hour or more crying hysterically on the floor. I used alot of sick time because I couldn't function. I just thought this might help you in some way... there's more stuff in my story but I'll share that another time. Best 💜 ABB 🙏
Thank you and I’m so sorry I’m here for you if you need someone to talk to