I think too much

Hi, I am 35 years old and I feel very lonely. I've always had a difficult relationship with my father, who always made me feel and still gives me the feeling that I'm not good enough. He always told me that nobody really likes me and that everyone is just taking advantage of me. If you hear that all the time as a child or teenager, you will believe it at some point. It is very difficult for me to trust others and to believe that I am loved and that others are really honest with me.

Because of my job, I have less free time and that's why my circle of friends has steadily decreased over the years. I met my best friend 7 years ago and (unfortunately) fell in love with her at some point. She doesn't know anything about it, I never told her because I didn't want to risk the friendship. She has psychological problems herself and it is often difficult with her. But I don't want to lose her. It's complicated.

I take a lot of things too seriously and think too much. I don't want to doubt myself so often, but I can't help it ...

I would like someone to talk about problems or thoughts.

(I'm sorry for my English, but my mother tongue is German and I have some problems with foreign languages. )

I wish you a nice evening!