Living in the pit of Mordor
I’m feeling really down, I have a lot of mental things is struggle with. Depression, anxiety over work, relationship, family,
I am a broke in debt 44 year old who just became a grandpa and started college for the first time in the same month, while living with my father, struggling to maintain any healthy thoughts.
I feel like I fail everything. I’ve been divorced four freaking times.
I find a girl who accepts me and all my baggage and I can’t stay out of my head and just be happy… no I have to push the boundaries of anxiety ridden worry and cause unhappiness in our relationship also… because you know why should it be a good thing…
do I just self sabotage everything?
@anxiousmichael77 maybe we'll meet in mordor :) earlier on I wrote on one of the forum that I felt I had turned into Gollum...
Well done for starting college that sounds like a real bold move.
It's not an easy job to accept one's self and have self compassion but the more time passes the more I realise it is essential.
Have you opened up about your feelings in greater depth with a listener or therapist?
@anonylenon
i used to see a therapist, I am reaching back out to her.
I talked to a listener for a bit but they signed off halfway through what I was saying … I’m new here idk if that’s normal.
I know taking care of myself is important but it’s damn hard
@anxiousmichael77 when tagging you need to tag the complete username otherwise one would not be notified.
I have not been here more than a month or so but if you did not have a good listener experience you can try again it won't cost you anything. Even with therapists it often takes a few trials to find a good match.
I'm really glad to hear you will be contacting the therapist.
Oh and congrats on grandfatherhood!
@anxiousmichael77
Sorry you experienced that with the Listener. Not everyone is suited to be a Listener. Sometimes they accept a chat without committing to the time a chat requires. They should not be leaving you hanging. At the very least, if they can't/don't want to keep chatting, they need to apologize and either make arrangements to chat another time, or they should seek out another Listener to chat with you. To just ditch a Member like that is poor form, but at the same time we can't know what was going on with that Listener at that time.
I hope you will give it another go sometime soon.
Thanks everyone, I will reach out to another. I’m not upset at the one who stopped who knows what happened.