Missing someone
Me and my ex were perfect. At least to me. In this year we wear together, we haven’t fought even once. Of course, disagreements happen; but we respected each other’s opinions. We were communicating so well, we were always together, did everything together and we just laughed all the time. He was really my best friend. We loved each other so incredibly much. We talked about anything and everything, laughed and we were very good.
Last week, I was at his place taking a nap. When I wake up he is sitting by my side and starts crying. I sit up and start hugging him, not saying anything. After a while he tells me he thinks it’s better if we break up.
I was shocked, I didn’t say anything for 30 minutes, we just hugged. Obviously, this really broke my heart. I left his place, and came back the next evening to pick up my stuff. He insisted to let me stay the night, so we could talk and spend one more night together. The night itself was like any other night, we fell asleep while hugging each other. He left to go to uni, and at that moment I realised what was happening. I got my stuff, left him a little note and went home.
The reason for this breakup was that he didn’t want a girlfriend anymore. He told me he felt so lazy by my side. He still loves me and cares about me, but doesn’t want me as a girlfriend.
So we go on as “best” friends, even though this is really difficult for me. I’m trying my best, but honestly; i just want him as my boyfriend. I understand and respect his decision, I just wish it wasn’t like this and I hope he will change his mind. He does think if our paths cross one day, we could try again.
Now my question is, what do I do?
I hope he will eventually change his mind, and I think I will always wait for him, until he has someone else; but i’m so clueless. I will always love him, and respect him. I think if I ever want the option for us to try again, I have to remain close to him. Even though it will be very hard, and it will hurt sometimes. I’m at this point in my life, where I would do anything for him. Just to have him.
Aww, I'm sorry. He probably wants to be free to see other women. Maybe you two are young. Give yourself some time to heal and please don't sell yourself short ❤ You deserve what you want, a boyfriend who loves you.
@raspberryDay6508 If having a family is a priority to you then it's without a doubt a waste of time to wait. Either way... Your time is precious. Find someone that wants to be with you. If you think you loved this guy, the one that wants you will be way better. Wanting you is a bare minimum requirement for love. If you're having trouble picturing it... journal about your dream person.... and whatever hobbies your dream person has...go to where you want your dream person to be and that's where they'll be.
@raspberryDay6508 I wanted to reply to you because i actually is going through the same thing with you. My ex and I have never been really separated and I been in this roller coaster relationship which is not mutual because im so available, he now does whatever he wants and when he comes im here. He enjoys this while im on the other hand is having stress and heartaches until I realized that he actually not so interested in me as me but that im always available whenever he looks toward me for company or whatever. Now, im hurting so much and im allowing myself to feel the hurt and then keep on moving away from him because he does not realize how much his behavior hurts me so in order for me to take care of myself, im moving on. I know it does hurt because that is normal, but i know this is the best for my mental and physical health, it's toxic just because im so available to him he is taking me for granted and so im looking toward a future where i can be happy on my own rather than letting someone keep hurting me, it gets tiring after a while. We can't change people but we can decide for us what is best. Let him go, you will be surprised after a while how much you can appreciate your freedom from aches and stress because the relationship is not mutual. Sometimes we need to put our own self first for preservation and well-being. We can't depend on others because when they are not there for us, then we really think we have a problem. I wish you rest as you look toward a future full of new opportunities and adventures, no one person has the right to control our emotions and dictate how we should live our lives but ourselves, because we are WORTH it.
@raspberryDay6508 What are you planning to do moving forward?
So actually, i’ve started my dream job & i’ve been working quite a lot to get my mind of it. It’s not the most healthy way to cope, but it’s alright. It works for me.
Other than that, I just want to prioritise myself.
But a lot has happened since I wrote this post & i’m not over it yet; but i’ve accepted it. For me, that’s a lot.
@raspberryDay6508 sorry your going through this sometimes it’s hard to let someone you really love go but you have to heal yourself so someone who’s your soulmate can love you how you deserve to be loved
Exactly, and I fully understand & agree. I’m grateful for the year that we got to spend together. It’s made me the happiest person in the world. It’s so saddening to see this go, but oh well. It’s life 🤍
You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them drink. Two people can be in love and be perfect for each other and it just doesn’t work out.
That’s love, and it’s why I think tying a legally binding contract to it is irrational. Or tying anything to it. Or ever expecting anything. Please don’t be in a rush to get married or have children. It is not all sunshine and rainbows, as you have seen here.
Dont worry so much about love. There are other things in life. Fulfill yourself through yourself. Now you know what giant red flags look like. Pay attention to how this dude acted when you first started talking. People will tell you who they are pretty quickly. You just have to listen.
oh no, i didn’t mean that i wanted to get married asap etc! i’m absolutely not rushing anything. i’m 20 & i still have a whole life ahead :) just very disappointed we ended like this !
i’m currently working on myself, trying to move on & we’ll see what life brings. thank you 🤍
