New to the app

Hi all, I'm new. 37yo cis female. I've been depressed most of my life. In my 20s, I felt like it was okay to take my time to heal and get better. Now that I'm almost 40 and I'm still in the same mental/emotional state, I'm worried I'm going to be like this my whole life. I feel like a complete loser. I'm unemployed, live at home with my parents, and haven't had a serious relationship in nearly a decade. I put on a strong front because I'm prideful and don't like showing weakness. But the truth is that I feel completely alone. I'm too ashamed to tell any of my family or friends how I feel.