Depressed with a depressed partner

Hello everyone

I'm not new here. I joined the community some years ago, when I was struggling with my own depression.

A psychiatrist gave my some drugs for almost a year. He said I didn't need any psychological therapy, but I chose to try it anyway. It has helped a bit, but not now.

My partner has going through depression for some months. He has suicidal thoughts and he tried it once, in front of me, when we were arguing for something. Now he's seeing a therapist and taking drugs.

He has tried to fill the void in his life buying books: about 300 in a couple of months. When I tried to say something, he replied that he needs them for work, that I can read them too and that his therapist has suggested him to do everything that keeps his mind away from suicidal thoughts.

I've always loved reading, since I was a little child. Now l hate books. I walk in my house and I see his books everywhere. I walk in my house and I don't feel home.

It was bearable, anyway, till few days ago: I worked all day long, had lunch in the car, came back home only in the late evening. Now I has been "forced" to take some days off . I wouldn't do, but I work with kids and now it's Christmas holidays and they are home, with their family.

Thank you for reading.

Sorry for my English. I'm not native, but I find easier speaking about my problems in English. May be because I have to use a poorer language and shorter sentences than in my own mother language, it helps minimising the problem.