Hello

41 year old female, mom to three furbabies. I've struggled with depression my entire life. In more recent years I went to a psychologist and was was assessed for other mental health issues. I have ADD, Bipolar Disorder and severe anxiety. I'm only being treated for anxiety, but I feel like it doesn't do much to help. My medication has been adjusted multiple times since I began seeing her.

In the last 2 years my life kinda went down the drain. My brother passed away 2 years ago in mid September. I was more than just his sister, I was also one of his caretakers. He was born without the ability to speak. He was autistic and his mental development stopped at around age 2 to 3. I worked with him through a state program for over 17 years and even earlier than that when I still lived at home. Losing him took a lot out on me mentally and emotionally.

Around March the following year, I felt ready to begin looking for another job, but then Covid-19 hit the world and forced me to change my plans. It wasn't until that September that I was able to get a job with the help of my husband. He knew the owners of the store and worked there himself. The owner hired me with the understanding that I have some mental health issues. I trained for three months with the main store before leaving for another store. This is where new problems occurred.

It was the end of November/beginning of December when I started at this store. From day one, I had a feeling that the manager of that store didn't like me, or anyone else really. At the beginning of January I ended up getting Covid-19. I had went to the hospital with severe pain in my stomach and left to go home to wait out the virus. I was in correspondence with the owner the entire time I was sick and come time to return to work, I was ghosted. No schedule with my hours to work and every attempt to get th schedule was ignored. So here I was, jobless again. I found out several months later that the manager didn't want me back at the store because I asked what needed to be done all the time. Which was her own doing, because she ran her store her own way (different than I learned at the first store) and every attempt to learn what she wanted from me was met with negativity.

I have since tried to get a job, but so far I have yet to find something I'm physically capable of doing. I've worked the same job for 17 plus years and other than being a Cashier for 2 years at Walmart, I have zero work experience. The home health job where I took care of my brother was the most heart breaking thing I have done and can't bring myself to do it for someone else to get attached to.

So now, more currently, my area was hit by Hurricane Ida. We were hit very hard where I live and we're without electricity for over 2 weeks. During this time my husband and I stayed with my parents. Now my father is a very easy going person and don't cause me undue stress. My mother, on the other hand, is the complete opposite. Very negative about almost everything, she seems to affect me more than anyone else. I'm like her favorite target. She claims I am the issue when we fight, but no one else does. Everyone knows how toxic she is and most don't understand why I even try. Truth is, I don't know why myself.

Our electricity finally came back on last night, but the effects of staying with them are still with me. On top of all this, I started a new job last week that I, again, don't think I can handle. Which is the main reason I am here. I need help in more than one way.

I apologize for the length of my introduction. I would love to hear from anyone who is or has been dealing with similar issues or someone who just wants to help. Thank you all for listening.

Oh, and you can just call me Rainbow.