Hello 🌻
I am 38, a mother of a 4yo, full-time student and worker. I am in a relationship with my sons father that has been abusive. Not physically but mentally abusive. I suffer from depression, anger, PTSD, and I have hypothyroidism which does not help my situation.
I can’t afford therapy and so I’m here hoping for support.
@trunorth22
You sound like am amazingly strong woman and you are clearly working hard to change your future. I admire that you had the courage to reach out for support. Forums are a great place to start, but also be sure to look into finding a listener here who can support you as you go through this journey...together we are stronger. Sending you vibes for clarity and peace of mind.
Thank you for your kind words 😇. I struggle daily and most days I cry a good cry and move on but I am so tired of living this way. I feel we should be our happiest and be around people that don’t drain your energy. It’s very sad, exhausting and more so when not having anyone to lean on. So yes, I hope to at least get by through these forums 🌺❤️🩹. I may not heal entirely but it’s a start. Sending good vibes back your way!
Hello 👋
@trunorth22, I’m glad to decided to join this site for support. I admire you for doing all those things you must have your plate full no wonder you are feeling the way you do. I’m also in a relationship that is mentally abusive and I also suffer from depression, PTSD. Trust me it’s really hard living with this things and having no support. I do go to counseling myself and also see a psychiatrist but I feel it’s not helping me. Being in this site talking to people is helping me more actually. I have meet some great people on here, and I hope that you can find great support yourself. If you need to I’m here for you to and we can be support to one another. Sending you a virtual hug 🤗 for comfort take care.
Thank you for sharing a part of you as well. It’s truly challenging and it’s painful. There are days where I feel completely drained and I don’t know where I gather the energy to even blink. I hope your situation gets better. I wish I could afford therapy. Sadly I have health insurance and pay almost $500 a month and can’t afford all the fees and copays. I feel like it’s useless.
@trunorth22,
you are so welcome :) trust me being a parent and having a lot of responsibilities drains your whole life. But I don’t even know where we get the energy to keep going, it happens to me to. May I ask why doesn’t your insurance pay for therapy? I know not all insurances are the same, but I have the medical card through the state and they pay my therapy, as well as my psychiatrist. Now if you are paying for your insurance I don’t understand why they can’t help you pay it. I mean it does help a lot to go to therapy I’m telling you because it helps you vent, but then when you come out of it and go back to your regular life well then you feel like it’s not helping you. I wanted to suggest if you feel like you need to talk to someone and it might not be professional but we have listeners here not sure if you know, who are great on lending a ear. I also became a listener myself if you feel comfortable you can always search me up and send me a message and I can talk to you to. My listener name is Sweetbuttercup33 I’m more than happy to be there for you. For some reason if you can’t find me let me know and I will send you a message ok. Just letting you know you are not alone on this we right here with you.
Thank you so much! I appreciate you letting me know your listener name. And about insurance it’s ridiculous. It’s through my employer. I have to pay $500 a month that’s just my premium. Then if I want to go to any specialist I’m this case a psychologist or psychiatrist for example. Every visit will cost me $50 and I have to meet $1000 deductible. Every visit with any doctor is $50 in network. Last month I had to see 3 different doctors and it was $150 plus meds was almost $220. So health cost me last month $720. I have a car note, insurance, groceries, rent, bills. My pay barely covers that. So that’s an added stress.
@trunorth22,
oh my that is to much. But I don’t understand why you still have to pay out of pocket when you get the insurance through your employer. Normally they just deduct a certain amount from your pay check, and the rest when you go to a DR, psychologist etc they cover it. No wonder you are feeling the way you are, that is ridiculous. I don’t know but have you tried maybe applying for a medical card through the state? Normally you get it if you have kids that are young. I have mine because I have kids so normally with the states insurance you don’t pay anything. I see a counselor, psychiatrist, and other things that are free of no charge to me. I’m just concern when you have to come out with that much money when you already paying them to get the insurance. Have you though maybe in switching insurance?
Hi! Yes, I pay a premium that is deducted from my check. About $125 a week not including taxes and 401k leaving me with almost nothing. Every healthcare provider has different packages and the Human Resource officer chooses the best package they feel will benefit the employees. They offer us 3 packages and they all have different deductibles and copays. My package has a deductible of $1000 which means I have to meet my deductible before the healthcare provider picks up the bill. My copays go towards my deductible which is good but copays are $50-$75 per visit. So if I’m paying $500 a month for just the premium and have to go to the doctor just one time a month… that’s an additional $50-$75. So now we are at $550-$575. But I am sickly due to my hypothyroidism and my visits can me 2-4 times a month. So now assuming I am going 4 times for this example at $75 my copay for a endocrinologist I’m at $500+$300= $800 a month. In just taking care of myself for only one specialist. If I add a psychologist session once or twice a week. I’m basically working for just my health and would have to live under a bridge.
I don’t qualify for state insurance bc based on their income guidelines I make too much money and get this - I missed it by like $100.
So yea. Anyone that has healthcare through an employer - they do cover therapy but not 100% as they expect you to pay a difference in most companies not all… and if you don’t make 6 figures… it’s a struggle.
@𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐧𝗼𝐫𝐭𝐡22,
𝐈’𝗺 𝐬𝗼𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐈 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝗼𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝗼𝗺𝐞 𝐞𝗺𝐩𝐥𝗼𝐲𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐲𝐩𝐞 𝗼𝐟 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐟𝗼𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐞𝗺𝐩𝐥𝗼𝐲𝐞𝐞𝐬. 𝐈 𝐭𝐡𝗼𝐮 𝐡𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐲𝗼𝐮 𝐰𝗼𝐫𝐤 𝐟𝗼𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝗺 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝗼𝗼𝐤 𝐢𝐭 𝗼𝐮𝐭 𝗼𝐟 𝐲𝗼𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐲 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐰𝗼𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝗼𝐟 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐥𝗼𝗼𝐤𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐝𝗼𝐞𝐬𝐧𝐭 𝗼 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐳𝐲 𝐡𝗼𝐰 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝗼𝐮 𝗺𝗼𝐬𝐭 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐭.
𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐡 𝐈 𝐤𝐧𝗼𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝗼𝐮 𝗺𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐥𝗼𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝗼𝐮 𝐝𝗼𝐧’𝐭 𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐲 𝐟𝗼𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞’𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞, 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐢𝐬 𝐝𝐮𝗺𝐛 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝗼 𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝗼𝐮 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐲𝗼𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐤𝐢𝐝. 𝐍𝗼𝐫𝗺𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐚 𝗺𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐤𝐢𝐝𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝗼𝐮𝐧 . 𝐌𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐰𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐰𝐡𝗼 𝐤𝐧𝗼𝐰𝐬 𝗺𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝗺𝐞 𝗺𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐞 𝐧𝗼𝐭.
𝐈 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝗼𝐩𝐞 𝐲𝗼𝐮 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝗼𝐮 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐲𝗼𝐮 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝗼𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐭. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐈 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐈’𝗺 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝗼𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝗼 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐤𝐧𝗼𝐰 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝗼 𝗺𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝗼𝐧 𝐲𝗼𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝗼𝐞𝐬, 𝐈’𝗺 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝗺𝐞 𝐛𝗼𝐚𝐭. 𝐃𝗼𝐧’𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝗼 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝗼𝐮 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝗼 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞.
And once I’m insured I can’t drop them. Unless it meets their guidelines. I also can’t remain uninsured bc I have health issues. So it’s a double edged sword 🗡 😕
Hi @trunorth22,
I feel so badly for you and know what it is like to need help but not have the budget to pay for it. Ive found meditation with the Calm App (only $60 a year) has really helped! It’s like weightlifting for the brain I guess…things are still really tough sometimes, but meditation takes the edge off…my emotions are are not so painful. I also watched a video where Oprah talks about keeping a gratitude journal as a way to focus on what we have rather than what we lack. Lastly, I love the podcast called “The Mentally ill Mentor with Dave Miller. Lots of good insights, and completely free to listen to. Well, best of luck…you CAN do this…you are stronger than you think.
This is awesome! Thank so much for your compassion and the resources! I love the journal idea 💡 I will definitely start one 😊❤️🩹