Hello from North Carolina!
I am in my early 40's, mother of 4 kids (2 grown and on their own, 2 still in high school). I am in the medical field and love my job. I have been divorced for about 3 years now (Married for 21 years) and I am in a current relationship with what appears to be a narcissist (he did not seem that way when I met him) who tends to drink too much. I can definitely support myself and my kids without him. I have past trauma from my father and my ex husband that I am dealing with. I am currently in therapy so i can "get fixed" at my boyfriends request and I am pleased with therapy so far. My perspective of my therapy is changing from doing it "for him" to doing it for me. And I wonder almost daily, is it worth the stress just to have a relationship? Anyone else?? Thank you.
@mlarnold77
Welcome! And good job being able to get to this point to reflect on this situation -- that is growth. I think you will find the answer as you go along in therapy and continue to get comfortable and confident in doing things for yourself and not a partner. Sometimes, being alone is better than being with a person who causes you pain and stress. It sounds so simple, but I know it is not easy. Be proud of the steps you are taking to discover what you really want and deserve. You are enough and you are amazing!
𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐥𝗼, @𝗺𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐧𝗼𝐥𝐝77,
𝐈’𝗺 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝗼 𝐢𝐧 𝗺𝐲 𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐲 40’𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝗼 𝐚 𝗺𝗼𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝗼𝐟 4 𝐤𝐢𝐝𝐬, 𝗺𝐲 𝗼𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝗼𝐧𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝗼𝐲𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐲𝗼𝐮𝐧 𝐞𝐬𝐭. 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝗼 𝗺𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝗺𝐲 𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝗼 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐚 𝐥𝗼𝐭 𝗼𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧 𝐬 𝐟𝗼𝐫 𝗺𝐞, 𝐈 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧’𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝗼𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐩𝐫𝗼𝐛𝐥𝐞𝗺 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧 . 𝐖𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝗼 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝗼𝐢𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝗼𝐮𝐫 𝐰𝐡𝗼𝐥𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧 𝐫𝐮𝐢𝐧 𝐛𝐲 𝐡𝐞’𝐬 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧 . 𝐇𝐞 𝐝𝗼𝐞𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐳𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥, 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝗼𝐫𝐭 𝗺𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝗼𝐫 𝗺𝐲 𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝗼𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝗺 𝐧𝗼𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐲. 𝐈 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝗼 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐮𝗺𝐚 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝗼 𝗼𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝗼 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐲, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐧𝗼𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐟 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩𝐢𝐧 𝗺𝐞 𝗼𝐫 𝐧𝗼𝐭. 𝐈 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐰𝗼𝐫𝐬𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝗼𝐫𝐬𝐞 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐢𝐭 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬. 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐝𝗼𝐧’𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐰𝗼𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝗼 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝗼𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩. 𝐈𝐟 𝐡𝐞 𝐚 𝐮𝐲 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝗼 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝗼 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐞 𝐟𝗼𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧 𝗼𝐟 𝐡𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝗺𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐰𝗼𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒊𝒇 𝒉𝒆 𝒅𝒐𝒆𝒔𝒏𝒕 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆 𝒂𝒕 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒘𝒉𝒚 𝒃𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒓𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝒘𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒂𝒄𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒂 𝒅𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒃𝒆𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 𝒅𝒐 𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒖𝒑 𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒔𝒆. 𝑰’𝒎 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝑰’𝒎 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒏.
