All I wanted was to talk
I think alot about marriage. I just hope my wife is happy. She's sure earned it. But....im quite she she isn't happy. Let's see. First, a little about me. Diagnosed BP1. Diagnosed disabled. Former alcoholic. Been seeing a shrink for about 8 years. To the problem.. I think alot about marriage. I haven't been a good husband. Not one bit. "cheated" numerous times. She's forgiven the ones she knows about. I suffer from paranoia. I say "cheated". Because there was never insertion. I just feel like she deserves so much more. I'm a bad provider. Very bad. Married 21 years. Lived with in-laws for most of the marriage. And they do NOT like me at all. Bad stuff. Had a fight a few years ago. Wife said if it wasn't for the kids she'd leave. Guess I can't blame her. No sex life at all. She used to be insatiable. Now....we simply don't. Sorry for the length .
Hello @pippisdaddy
-I am now asking you to re-evaluate the reasons you're together. Go back to the beginning.
-Think to yourself "Can I be myself around her?", "Is she comfortable around me?", How often do you and your partner truly enjoy the same experience?", "Are you able to get each other laughing hard?", "Do you talk to your partner about important thoughts and feelings without fear of distress?", "Can you count on your partner to be there when you need him or her?"
-Do something special together like take a short walk or watch your wedding video
-Come clean about things you have kept secret
Hope this helps you bro
Hello @pippisdaddy
-I am now asking you to re-evaluate the reasons you're together. Go back to the beginning.
-Think to yourself "Can I be myself around her?", "Is she comfortable around me?", How often do you and your partner truly enjoy the same experience?", "Are you able to get each other laughing hard?", "Do you talk to your partner about important thoughts and feelings without fear of distress?", "Can you count on your partner to be there when you need him or her?"
-Do something special together like take a short walk or watch your wedding video
-Come clean about things you have kept secret
Hello @pippisdaddy
-I am now asking you to re-evaluate the reasons you're together. Go back to the beginning.
-Think to yourself "Can I be myself around her?", "Is she comfortable around me?", How often do you and your partner truly enjoy the same experience?", "Are you able to get each other laughing hard?", "Do you talk to your partner about important thoughts and feelings without fear of distress?", "Can you count on your partner to be there when you need him or her?"
-Do something special together like take a short walk or watch your wedding video
-Come clean about things you have kept secret
Soundd heavy man i can relate,im justa lighter weight
I can relate lets chat
@pippisdaddy
@pippisdaddy Would your wife be amenable to couples counseling with you? I know you're working on your own things with the therapist. But the change in intimacy, roles you each play in the marriage, even how you two communicate might all benefit from having a neutral third-party to help you both sort through. Another thing--- your past mistakes do not define you now. It sounds like you've left things in your past and have grown/tried to heal. Leave those things there, okay? Carrying them forward only keeps you feel undeserving of present happiness and as if you aren't enough. You've gotta get to a place of self-forgiveness/self-love before you can meet her halfway, I think. Hugs to you.