Cheri’s Connection Corner - Fixed vs Growth Mindset 🧠

@SunShineAlwaysGrateful

UPDATED TAGLIST 8/28/2023

1st part

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@SunShineAlwaysGrateful

2nd Part Taglist

@junem @justbecause @Justbreathingx9  @JustExisting1027 @JustMe1225 @justpassingthrough10 @K8tjee @kala @Katbtrying552 @Kathy1212 @kathy3667 @Kavajava @kcollier6517 @Kevin0291 @kickiree @kickan75 @Kimberley555 @KindblueEyes @kindCloud141 @Kira09 @kit4228 @kitty2018 @kittycat15 @klemen @koyaanisqatse8 @Kurt789 @LadySnowcat @LakeGirl819 @Lara @lateasusual @Lauren63 @LavenderDaily @lesjon @lelahni @Lifer @lightBalsam5585 @LightSoul108 @lilaj3796 @LimegreenNorth1124 @LindaWinNJ @lisamac724 @ListeningKaty @livefreely04 @LivingLovingLifeRecovery @livingwithbpdx2 @lledmonds1969 @Lolowise475 @lonea @Lonelybeth @LoneShade @lookingforpeace @LostanLonely @Lostinlove50 @love @Love2Boat65 @LovecraftianHorror @LoveResearcher @lrsmith9636 @LucianX @luv2shop @mabelanne20 @madhu @Maka10 @mamamel @mamapants @MariaLands @Marspock @meforexample @Melayla @Melissa22320 @Melliemel1971 @mellisendis @metta2u @mettagirl @MidwesternCalmSeeker @Mindy @ministermichelle @MissPen@MistyMagic @Mla69 @mm2022 @modestOcean7984 @modestwatermelon2938 @moi2016 @mommabear0562 @MondoRalph @Mooboxer @moocher @morecake @Motherofcats1955 @MrKindness @MsVee2021 @MusicCandy @Musicman50 @musicwithbrass @mutter3 @myer @MysticSoul88 @navyAcai7149 @neatandtidy72 @neverendingtime23 @nippycat @No1Angel68 @nobodyimportantmn @Nogift @NormaAnne @Oddball76779 @oel @OffMyTrack @OliveCamp8456 @omez125 @OmWeAreOne @Open12 @OptimisticAcres4817 @optimisticRaspberries5247 @outofspace7 @PatienceImpatiens @PaytonGlover @Peace1221 @peaceandlove65 @peachy53 @PepperBunny @pgreen6840 @phantomsmilesphilosophicalacai7803 @PitbullMom9 @philosophicalAcres8914 @philosophicalKiwi4956 @pianocat @placidplum3193 @pluckystrings4696 @plumPapaya7147 @plumSkies6526 @politePear3867 @positiveriver9935 @potatoxcrispztrish @powerfulMaple1852 @practicalbalsam @PracticalCat2637 @proactiveCup703 @Puddinpen @PurpledPeach @purplefan5510 @purplepansies8591 @purpletangerine87 @purpletree4652 @PurpleWater74 @pxidis @Qooo @quietbeach575 @quietFlower25 @quietlightning @quietSail6485 @quietStrawberries9260 @Ran3707 @RainbowRosie @rationalWater7635 @readytolisten7799 @RebelliousMirror @redOrange9587@redCococnut7440 @redPenny @Redpeppers @Redrhapsody @reliablemoon26 @reliablemoon6376 @repen13 @Resourceful2021 @rhoda @richyShiny39 @RideaRainbow @River416 @Roger57 @RogueOne1983  @Ross63 @roxymar @ruffneckred @Ruthanny1243 @sailinsunshine @SallyMoore @sallymander36   @samSympa3 @Sandidegeer @SarahKind @sb805 @ScarletLand3247 @ScarletPear1945 @SeaLady @Seasidelady61 @secretMap2091 @Sedtzl1 @seeker1898 @SeekerSher @seekinghappy55 @seniorlady @sensibleBunny2134 @sensiblePal7535 @Shycat542 @shycranberry2308 @sillyrabbit7 @sincereGrapefruit4682 @sincerelandsincereOak6832 @SKHK @Skyglider @Skyy0 @SleeplessVet @Smilintru67 @smokescrunch @sngrlittle @snugglyLight2001 @sonerii @soothingArrow47 @sophiaaiello @SoulfulCat22 @soulsings @spielmanjr @SpreadAloha @StartExploring @stayingsafe @SteampunkOkc @stilltrying126  @sthompso @StormyTimes @straightforwardKiwi7811 @stressBear @strugglingtocope99 @Sue1111 @Sue88 @sunnyplum5193 @SunnySpruce3523 @sunnyZebra2336 @Sunshine4691 @SunShineAlwaysGrateful @SusyKaploosy @SuzieQ1 @swammi01 @SweetSami @swim215 @swinston222 @swordpsalm @Tabbysflower @Tailormade1 @tanimaya @Tanq2u @Tawanda526 @tealCranberry7379 @tealDog6333 @tealPlace1858 @Teresa416 @terrig996 @TexasTabby @thecaringone @thoughtfulRaspberries8714 @ThreeFires @Tish1982 @tranquilheart @Treat @Trying5555 @turquoiseJar411 @twidget @twm @Tyedyedbutterfly @understandingSea8000 @Vadras @versatileHickory1709 @Vintagelung @VioletVeritas @Walker7957 @WarmWool @waterdragon81 @weatherphoto @WharfRat @Whisper292 @whisperingfairy7 @whispersrlonely @whitewingeddove1107 @Wicket51 @willow3836 @wittyNest2941 @WonnderWoman @Woodlandwalk42 @wordnerd @worstpossibleusername @WorkingitThrough2   @worthystruggle @WrenegadeWen @xe14 @xinero @xrosez @Yashoda108 @Yushix  @youcancallmeLili @zaramerch @Zengrl          

Can you share your personal experience where you found yourself working with a fixed mindset, and how that affected your approach to a particular challenge?

This was in a previous period in my love life, when I always felt that the same situation was repeating itself and that at a certain point things would start to go wrong, and although I saw the beginning of the end of the relationship, I kept trying, and I realized in the end that all my attempts to continue were... Very sterile, and that this person is hopeless and it is not good to continue with him, but I realized this too late, which made me lose confidence in starting a new relationship and I did not try to become romantically involved again.

In your life, have you ever consciously adopted a growth mindset in the face of a difficult situation? How did this shift in mindset impact the outcome or your overall experience?

This happened when I watched the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, where the two heroes undergo a process that makes each of them forget the other, but what happens after that is that the two heroes meet again and feel attracted to each other. Many interpreted what happened in the film as saying that they were destined to love one of them. The other, but my personal opinion was that when the two heroes erased their memories, they erased an important cognitive experience for each of them, that experience that makes you, because you were exposed to a certain situation, avoid the reasons that exposed you to this situation. For example, if you burn your hand when touching fire, you will avoid touching it. Fire until your hand burns. As for me, I spent a long period of my life erasing my previous experiences from my memory because I always wanted myself to return to the same innocence that it was before I was exposed to those experiences. The result was that I was attracted to the same type of people and I naively believed that the relationship might succeed this time, while... What I should really do is learn from my past mistakes instead of beating myself up over them and get involved with someone who is right for me.

Thinking about your own journey, can you think about the moment you moved from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset, and what prompted this change?

It was a moment in which I wanted to stop self-flagellation and that I should not have fallen into those mistakes and known these people. A moment in which I realized that a person must make mistakes in order to learn from his mistakes, and that the people who prey on your mistakes and always frame them as if they have become your identity are bad and incomplete people and we must retire. What hurts us.

@SunShineAlwaysGrateful

everything, every situation, every day all the time!  Why?  Well that’s the mindset that has been shaped by experiences, by the randomness of birth, by the treatment as a child, by evolutionary genetic predisposition for survival that tries its best to prepare the new human for the world it will enter.

Now, if I could simply flip a switch and remove all of that, and get my ‘growth’ mindset - well I would.  However that is where the problem lies.  I am stuck you see - I can see the problem, I can see the solution and I can see the pathway - but the journey, well that’s the issue.  Unfortunately being presented with a list of all the, societally labeled, negative factors that are ‘holding me back’, seems to complete a circle of victim blaming - yes it’s me, it’s my refusal to change, my stubbornness, my unwillingness to become better.  Well unfortunately if life was just a set of arbitrary choices I would, have chosen to be a successful millionaire years ago!  Again, i don’t choose to be who I am, I am shaped by experiences, wins and losses.  I navigate, I change, i evolve, I am a different person to different people.  

I cannot solve my dysfunction, if the dysfunction is a label given and defined by a toxic society that denys the fact that there are millions of strings on this instrument and that we choose to listen to the note from just one.  I also refuse to adhere to some business best seller telling me to get a growth mindset, so our Q reports will show long term advancement in our field!?

the tiger did not choose to be orange with black stripes, it did it because when it hunts in the bamboo forest at sunset - the eyes of the deer cannot see it coming.  It looks the way it is because the world it entered told it that being that color would be the best thing for success.  The tiger has not stopped hunting deer but humans are removing the bamboo and slowly killing all the tigers - who simply cannot  choose another growth mindset?

@SunShineAlwaysGrateful

Agreed mindset is everything ! nice post thanks.

ABB