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Cheri’s Connection Corner - OVER & UNDER Function which are YOU when you struggle? What helps?

User Profile: SunShineAlwaysGrateful
SunShineAlwaysGrateful July 19th, 2023

Struggles happen and we all react differently. There is no wrong way to cope. Please know you are NOT alone.


Do you OVER function or UNDER function when your struggles become too much or do you do BOTH? What kind of support helps YOU the most ?


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User Profile: SunShineAlwaysGrateful
SunShineAlwaysGrateful OP July 19th, 2023

@SunShineAlwaysGrateful

UPDATED TAGLIST 6/13/2023

1st part

@00WHY00 @1Marg1 @24963534 @24Help1 @4Rainbow42 @5catsandme @8Khaleesi8 @ArinDee @Actuallynobody017 @adaptableOcean4193 @adventurousBranch3786 @adventurousSugar1991 @affableowl5126 @affectionateCat9553 @affectionatePear7889 @agreeablestrawberries1285 @ahaller @ahds2k @ahel58 @akbj @AKmarshmallow @Aksabode @alan254 @alanapiana1970 @alleywood13 @amanda @ambitiousNectarine1482 @Amelia2324 @amiablePeace77 @amiableTortoise2797 @AmiYumi @amusingcranberry1537 @AmusingJet302 @anderly @andy @Angelface50 @AnnieIsMe @aquaCake3636 @ARIBA5 @Artemis13579 @AshcloudMac @Aspace4u @Awesomesummer1628 @ayeyaeyaaaaaaaa @azureblueheron @azuladragon34 @Baby1120 @ballooningSloth @BaltimoreSpring @bamafan96 @Barltik2065 @Beanno @beautifulsoul @becausepuppies @Beck @becknit @beachyone @believing777 @berta0322 @Bestmaple2045 @bestplum1189 @betheileen @better2Bbrave @beverlianne @bigalt21 @Billyjoe9717 @bimmernizer @BirdsWhoWrite @bisketties @bklnstar @BLSD2021 @bluebell34 @BlueEyes1819 @blueOrange6725 @BlueSky0708 @Bluesky1964 @bluevelvet3 @Blugreg @bogartfan @bouncyBeach42 @BookishWendy @bouncyVoice4149 @breezyoctopus @brightChestnut3152 @BrightSugar1923 @bubblePomegranate7179 @BurdensDown @cal1860 @CaliforniaViv @calmblueocean @calmVase7032 @Cammiecat @CandyBubblegumSprinkles @carefreeheart57 @CarefulGrapes590 @carefulsailboat231 @carelady @caringone1004 @CaringPanda45 @caringPumpkin64 @CaringSharon @carscarey @casey90 @cathy @catlady @catmandu @Cazzy8752 @Cheerie @chickadee123 @Chro411924 @CHT @CintaBali @classylady521 @Cliffg747 @coach411 @Communicativepenny8383 @CompassionateLand2815 @Confused7461 @convivialCake8989 @ConvivialFriend9402 @Cookiecrumbles7079 @CoriF @courageousCoconut7282 @CourageousDaisy1111 @CourageousSpring2022 @courteousLime9432 @CreativeYard1702 @crimsonShade6782 @CtownMimi @ctw1237 @Cubby2020 @curiousbutterfly77 @currentwise @cyanBirch4288 @CyclingThroughLife @DanaMH @DancingJoy811 @dapperPond2037 @Dave94305 @debbiehun @decisivetangerine2856 @decisiveBanana1981 @DeeGold @determinedNectarine9383 @dillon8524 @DinaElwy @diofono @diplomaticoak9588 @discreetMelon5938 @discreettriangle87 @DiscretOcean7936 @doginashirt @dolphinlver @Doodles7 @duces @ecstaticlght @einarsgirl @elderfarm @Electric100 @ElizabethGiovi @EmbStitcher33 @empathicForest15 @Emptynest2020 @endearingLion70 @Enthusiasticnest1089 @equinox56 @Eva66 @Every1ahome @ExDesertScapegoat @exuberantAvocado5095 @fairmindedStrawberries7429 @Faithfulapple2400 @faithlove1111 @Favor2020 @favour @FlowerLily23 @FoolsSelf @forcefulFriend4768 @forcefulStrings1005 @forcefulWriter32 @forko23 @Freeskier @friendly10 @friendlyCat50 @fromthetent81 @frothyMagic6772 @FusionX33 @GabbyGee @Gabriellegahnsuksah @Gale1032 @galfromaway @gardenyarn @generousBalloon786 @gentleEast4230 @gentleLand5245 @GiftedEmpath3 @goldilocks1041 @goodmelon8247 @goodYard1477 @GrammatoBoys @Grandma1 @GrandmaLolly @Gramma2FnM @Grammy23 @Greenpear036 @greenSummer1236 @gregariousKiwi9594 @gregariousZebra21 @guitarman087 @Gwen1963 @GypsyRed @HaloCompany88 @Heather2020 @helloBike4402 @hellopusher @helloTalker8798 @honestPeach5447 @Hotaru419 @hounddog2021 @HY00 @iamroni @Iamwhoiamwhoami @icedcoffee211109 @IHDW1982 @ihtak @impartialDrum1848 @indigolilly1500 @indigoMoon1246 @innerLove @introvertedextrovert2122 @intuitiveBunny8426 @intuitiveFriend1097 @Irene2552 @IWuzADuck @JackKost @jackrock @japanesegardengirl @jazzgtr @Jim @jlmouranet @jillwings7@JolivetteListens @JoniGirl @Judecat42W1370

User Profile: SunShineAlwaysGrateful
SunShineAlwaysGrateful OP July 19th, 2023

@SunShineAlwaysGrateful

2nd Part Taglist

@junem @justbecause @Justbreathingx9 @JustExisting1027 @JustMe1225 @justpassingthrough10 @K8tjee @kala @Katbtrying552 @Kathy1212 @kathy3667 @Kavajava @kcollier6517 @Kevin0291 @kickiree @kickan75 @Kimberley555 @KindblueEyes @kindCloud141 @Kira09 @kit4228 @kitty2018 @kittycat15 @klemen @koyaanisqatse8 @Kurt789 @LadySnowcat @LakeGirl819 @Lara @lateasusual @Lauren63 @LavenderDaily @lesjon @Lifer @lightBalsam5585 @LightSoul108 @lilaj3796 @LimegreenNorth1124 @LindaWinNJ @lisamac724 @ListeningKaty @livefreely04 @LivingLovingLifeRecovery @livingwithbpdx2 @lledmonds1969 @Lolowise475 @lonea @Lonelybeth @LoneShade @lookingforpeace @LostanLonely @Lostinlove50 @love @Love2Boat65 @LovecraftianHorror @LoveResearcher @lrsmith9636 @LucianX @luv2shop @mabelanne20 @madhu @mamamel @mamapants @MariaLands @Marspock @meforexample @Melayla @Melissa22320 @Melliemel1971 @mellisendis @metta2u @mettagirl @MidwesternCalmSeeker @Mindy @ministermichelle @MissPen@MistyMagic @Mla69 @mm2022 @modestOcean7984 @modestwatermelon2938 @moi2016 @mommabear0562 @MondoRalph @Mooboxer @moocher @morecake @Motherofcats1955 @MrKindness @MsVee2021 @MusicCandy @Musicman50 @musicwithbrass @mutter3 @myer @MysticSoul88 @navyAcai7149 @neatandtidy72 @neverendingtime23 @nippycat @No1Angel68 @nobodyimportantmn @Nogift @NormaAnne @Oddball76779 @oel @OffMyTrack @OliveCamp8456 @omez125 @OmWeAreOne @Open12 @OptimisticAcres4817 @optimisticRaspberries5247 @outofspace7 @PatienceImpatiens @PaytonGlover @Peace1221 @peaceandlove65 @peachy53 @PepperBunny @pgreen6840 @phantomsmilesphilosophicalacai7803 @PitbullMom9 @philosophicalAcres8914 @philosophicalKiwi4956 @pianocat @placidplum3193 @pluckystrings4696 @plumPapaya7147 @plumSkies6526 @politePear3867 @positiveriver9935 @potatoxcrispztrish @practicalbalsam @PracticalCat2637 @proactiveCup703 @Puddinpen @PurpledPeach @purplefan5510 @purplepansies8591 @purpletangerine87 @purpletree4652 @PurpleWater74 @pxidis @Qooo @quietbeach575 @quietFlower25 @quietlightning @quietSail6485 @quietStrawberries9260 @Ran3707 @RainbowRosie @rationalWater7635 @readytolisten7799 @RebelliousMirror @redOrange9587@redCococnut7440 @redPenny @Redpeppers @Redrhapsody @reliablemoon26 @reliablemoon6376 @repen13 @Resourceful2021 @rhoda @richyShiny39 @RideaRainbow @River416 @Roger57 @Ross63 @roxymar @ruffneckred @Ruthanny1243 @sailinsunshine @SallyMoore @sallymander36 @samSympa3 @Sandidegeer @SarahKind @sb805 @ScarletLand3247 @ScarletPear1945 @SeaLady @Seasidelady61 @secretMap2091 @Sedtzl1 @seeker1898 @SeekerSher @seekinghappy55 @seniorlady @sensibleBunny2134 @sensiblePal7535 @Shycat542 @shycranberry2308 @sillyrabbit7 @sincereGrapefruit4682 @sincerelandsincereOak6832 @SKHK @Skyglider @Skyy0 @SleeplessVet @Smilintru67 @smokescrunch @sngrlittle @snugglyLight2001 @sonerii @soothingArrow47 @sophiaaiello @SoulfulCat22 @soulsings @spielmanjr @SpreadAloha @StartExploring @stayingsafe @SteampunkOkc @sthompso @StormyTimes @straightforwardKiwi7811 @stressBear @strugglingtocope99 @Sue1111 @Sue88 @sunnyplum5193 @SunnySpruce3523 @sunnyZebra2336 @Sunshine4691 @SunShineAlwaysGrateful @SusyKaploosy @SuzieQ1 @swammi01 @SweetSami @swim215 @swinston222 @swordpsalm @Tabbysflower @Tailormade1 @tanimaya @Tanq2u @Tawanda526 @tealCranberry7379 @tealDog6333 @tealPlace1858 @Teresa416 @terrig996 @TexasTabby @thecaringone @thoughtfulRaspberries8714 @ThreeFires @Tish1982 @tranquilheart @Treat @Trying5555 @turquoiseJar411 @twidget @twm @Tyedyedbutterfly @understandingSea8000 @Vadras @versatileHickory1709 @Vintagelung @VioletVeritas @Walker7957 @WarmWool @waterdragon81 @weatherphoto @WharfRat @Whisper292 @whisperingfairy7 @whispersrlonely @whitewingeddove1107 @Wicket51 @willow3836 @wittyNest2941 @WonnderWoman @Woodlandwalk42 @wordnerd @worstpossibleusername @WorkingitThrough2 @worthystruggle @WrenegadeWen @xe14 @xinero @xrosez @Yashoda108 @Yushix @youcancallmeLili @zaramerch @Zengrl


User Profile: ShakenNotStirred932
ShakenNotStirred932 July 19th, 2023

Underfuntion, I just seem to shut down.

3 replies
User Profile: SunShineAlwaysGrateful
SunShineAlwaysGrateful OP July 19th, 2023

@ShakenNotStirred932

Yes it is a way to cope definitely. What kind of support helps you then ??

2 replies
User Profile: ShakenNotStirred932
ShakenNotStirred932 July 20th, 2023

Usually some time to heal, some writing in my journal, and perhaps a conversation with someone I trust. I am coming out of one of those shutdowns now, though very slowly.

1 reply
User Profile: SunShineAlwaysGrateful
SunShineAlwaysGrateful OP July 20th, 2023

Love this list … glad you are coming through a shut down doing what you need at your own speed. 💕💕

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User Profile: WharfRat
WharfRat July 20th, 2023

Do you OVER function or UNDER function when your struggles become too much or do you do BOTH? What kind of support helps YOU the most ?

Underfunction - I stop and back off. I'll do some time-wasting stuff like watching YouTube videos or playing solitaire and word games on my phone.



1 reply
User Profile: SunShineAlwaysGrateful
SunShineAlwaysGrateful OP July 20th, 2023

Yes under function stepping back is a way to cope. Rest and relaxation in shows and movies are very valid and necessary. Solitaire is a great one and word games are super fun!


Thank you for sharing. 😎😎

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User Profile: slowdecline48
slowdecline48 July 20th, 2023

I probably "underfunction". Actually I don't think that's the right word...when my Meniere's flares up badly enough, I just cancel whatever I planned to do originally, go to bed or to my office chair & do my corpse impression. Am getting pretty good at it now...

5 replies
User Profile: SunShineAlwaysGrateful
SunShineAlwaysGrateful OP July 20th, 2023

@slowdecline48

Yes I have the same issue never fun. You do need to limit your usual activity then 💯 percent.


Thank you for sharing. 😎

4 replies
User Profile: slowdecline48
slowdecline48 July 21st, 2023

Hold on, you have Meniére's disease too? 😳

...that's unusual. Out of everyone I've talked to so far, I have only met two other people who have it. One of 'em I didn't even meet online; it was purely by coincidence!

3 replies
User Profile: SunShineAlwaysGrateful
SunShineAlwaysGrateful OP July 21st, 2023

@slowdecline48

Yes I get it occasionally … the meds help! I get extremely dizzy almost cannot walk … each time takes about 2 weeks to resolve or so..


2 replies
User Profile: slowdecline48
slowdecline48 July 21st, 2023

@SunShineAlwaysGrateful I know it's not possible because of the rules, but I'd sure like to exchange e-mail addresses with ya. We could trade coping strategies, etc. I don't take any medication for my Meniére's specifically, just a decongestant.

1 reply
User Profile: SunShineAlwaysGrateful
SunShineAlwaysGrateful OP July 21st, 2023

We cannot exchange info of course it is anonymous here but feel free to pm … I am grateful I don’t get it often but regularly…

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User Profile: caughtinthemiddle
caughtinthemiddle July 20th, 2023

@SunShineAlwaysGrateful

i am back on this site after being off for like 2 years. I miss it and should have stayed on it- helpful. I do both- am doing both right now. I get busy just trying to do the daily cleaning/ pick up/ shopping whn I get home from work- stressed out after work. Take out garbage/ pay the bills. But I still have closets and Tupperware bins full of stuff to sore through- from whn I moved 4 yrs ago. As soon as I do the daily stuff- so tired /stressed/depressed that I wind up watch tv/ read a book/ play cards with adult daughter- then fall asleep on couch! I fall asleep like 9 pm and wake up- like now 2 or 3 am! Sometimes I just get lost in reading a good book to relax. I also still have 2 storage units of stuff to go through/ need do it so can stop pay for storage unit and get it all sorted out. Thanks for listening .

3 replies
User Profile: ShakenNotStirred932
ShakenNotStirred932 July 20th, 2023

I was in an apartment for 10 years and had boxes I never unpacked 😁. I moved to my present location last October. Two big plastic tubs in the closet that I have hardly gone through yet...

1 reply
User Profile: SunShineAlwaysGrateful
SunShineAlwaysGrateful OP July 20th, 2023

@ShakenNotStirred932

You will. Give yourself time when you are in a better place of mind and less tired.

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User Profile: SunShineAlwaysGrateful
SunShineAlwaysGrateful OP July 20th, 2023

@caughtinthemiddle

Welcome we are here to listen and support. Glad you returned to 7cups. Both under and over is understandable you do the necessary things to function yet not everything. It works and functional. Thank you for sharing. 💕💕

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User Profile: Barltik2065
Barltik2065 July 20th, 2023

@SunShineAlwaysGrateful

Do you OVER function or UNDER function when your struggles become too much or do you do BOTH?

I have learned I OVER OVER function.

In my recent (January) trauma event for me, I had learned I over function. As the sign says “busy themselves, & complete tasks when facing trauma, grief, anxiety, powerlessness.”

During my event, that is exactly (in hind sight) what I was experiencing. I need “fix” things. Correct things. Monitor properness of things. Something to occupy the brain and give it something to do instead of dwelling on all the things I have zero control or power over. I was Powerless.

Emotionally, I shutdown. Became Function driven. Food, sleep, self-care became an irritation and meaningless. Self-awareness stop, now that I seriously think of it.

What kind of support helps YOU the most ?

I honestly am not sure.
As I read others and put myself in those shoes of “What If”, I am still unsure.
During my event in January, the thought of watching Netflix \ YouTube etc. Would have irritated me to no end. I did find myself going through my luggage (had a carry-on. that was it) at least three or four times a day. Not sure why, wasn’t like something new popped into the bag or that maybe my pill bottle had babies or something. That was irrational and illogical.

It was around the fourth day before I was able to stomach real food. And I was tired enough that I actually fell asleep for more than 5 minutes.

1 reply
User Profile: SunShineAlwaysGrateful
SunShineAlwaysGrateful OP July 20th, 2023

@Barltik2065

i have been that over over functional. It does help me day to day.

Self care for everyone is different and it changes over time. I am glad you found it worked for you to help you through that difficult time. Please know you are not alone.

Thank you for sharing. 😎😎

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User Profile: onwardforevenmore
onwardforevenmore July 21st, 2023

I thought the punchline was going to be: the middle way! There is another path in between, a balance, - some at some times and others at others!



5 replies
User Profile: SunShineAlwaysGrateful
SunShineAlwaysGrateful OP July 21st, 2023

🙌 Yes!!!! A combo of BOTH of these ways absolutely!!! I do both at various times I prefer over function I do better then cope better for me. 💕💕

4 replies
User Profile: Barltik2065
Barltik2065 July 21st, 2023

@SunShineAlwaysGrateful

Do you feel you have a choice?

3 replies
User Profile: onwardforevenmore
onwardforevenmore July 21st, 2023

I feel mindful of my response. Yes, I always have a choice over my response and where I put the focus of my brain/thoughts :)

1 reply
User Profile: Barltik2065
Barltik2065 July 21st, 2023

@onwardforevenmore @SunShineAlwaysGrateful

Great feedback.
Thank you.

During my event, I didn't think about these things. It was mostly on the edge panic and fear.

Check O2, Check Pulse, Check BP, Check Resp, Check IV, Check Cath Bag. Is Patient in pain? Is Patient in distress? Is Patient covered?
OK, Repeat.


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User Profile: SunShineAlwaysGrateful
SunShineAlwaysGrateful OP July 21st, 2023

Sometimes I when I cannot I am under function when I M doing better I do over function … for me it is a spectrum definitely

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User Profile: PapaJeff59
PapaJeff59 July 23rd, 2023

For me, it's a little of both. When stress creates frustration and/or anger, I over function. I distract myself by doing. I once rearranged my entire apartment to vent off anger. When the stress sets off my depression, I just shut down and do almost nothing. There is a week's worth of dishes in the sink right now. Oh well

1 reply
User Profile: SunShineAlwaysGrateful
SunShineAlwaysGrateful OP July 23rd, 2023

Yes I am both as well but I definitely prefer over function for sure.


So sorry you are struggling now hope that the days ahead are better for you. Sending good thoughts your way through the miles. 😎😎

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