Getting older
Realizing that my parents won't live forever, that my spouse is sick, and I have my own health issues. I am concerned. I just didn't think of us as older. I keep asking, "Why my spouse?".
@BookishWendy
It honestly IMO is more frightening to have someone ill and thinking about mortality then realizing an accident could take us at any moment .......
It gets extremely hard for a spouse as you worry about what if you are not prepared for things to end. While It is completely understandable when you know time is or could be a short commodity it makes us appreciate the people who have NOW.
@toughTiger6481
Ya it really puts into perspective how fast life can be, why its important to live the moment u still have
@BookishWendy
Its hard to realize mortality at this old age, so we have to cherish what we still have in the moment
@BookishWendy
Its hard to realize mortality at this old age, so we have to cherish what we still have in the moment
@BookishWendy
Its hard to realize mortality at this old age, so we have to cherish what we have in the moment
I have had many conflicting emotions within this realm.
I think I need to share a little of What\How I am.
Myers Briggs [INTJ] - 16 Personalities Turbulent Architect [INTJ-T]
Short explanation: I don't understand emotions (mainly my own). I most of the time can see anger, hurt, happy, etc. More than likely I am not going to understand how it got to where it is.
And, I feel people are stupid, pathetic, and I hate them.
That is a definite topic for a different area LOL.
SO now that we have an understanding I am not "normal", we can get back on the topic of Mortality and Spouse sickness ...
My spouse is not of perfect health (nor am I). My Spouse have been displaying signs that are of not 'Goodness'. Here lies the dilemma:
My internal thoughts have been on: Spouse passes, Life insurance will provide X amount. Have Y amount in spouses 401K / IRA. I could sell the house ... wait, could I sell the house? Should I sell the house? I wonder how I would fell if I walked back in the house after my spouse is gone? Naw, going to sell the house and everything else. Get a remote position and move to Costa Rica. Cheap living in a bungalow with my dog. Stop at the cafe for morning joe and the market for dinner. Simple living one day at a time.
The "norm" would be as others had stated about mortality "OMG, we could die." or "What will I do that my spouse is not here. Oh how I will miss <fill blank>". I don't feel my life would be over without my spouse. Additionally my Spouse doesn't define or constitute my image\identity.
I will say that I wonder how 'Others' will see, interact, react with me without my spouse whom is my balance and understanding of people.
Feels weird to put it in words and share.