I left another emotionally abusive relationship
I'm male in my early 50's. I have a mild brain injury. Ever since this - about 10 years ago - I made a new friend and 2 girlfriends who were emotionally abusive. All charming and intelligent narcissists. I never had that kind of problem before TBI. I know it has something to do with the injury, but what things am I doing wrong to attract these toxic people? I had a wonderful marriage. I have 2 grown mature children. I'm told I'm too approachable now. I am going to see if counseling can help me learn whatever skillsets I have apparently lost. What can I also learn from home? Books you know about, videos, keywords to use in searching for videos or articles, anything you think might help. I don't know where to look for support or coping skills. Need some help with depression too. Thank you!
@FoolsSelf hi there, you are so brave for leaving, i know it can be very difficult. it's great that you're looking into counseling as well as learning from home. 7cups has some great guides, i might suggest checking out our boundaries guide and our depression guide! you can click either of those words to get sent straight to the guides. 
Good morning! You certainly are not alone when you mention a mild brain injury. I understand what that looks like as I have one myself. You are asking about resources, books ect... I can suggest CBT cognitive behavior therapy. There is a wealth of information. Google that. Utube is a great one. Several( traumatic brain injury documentaries)personal stories about people like myself and you. Very helpful and inspiring! I'd send you the links but it won't allow me to on here. A great book and a very good read its called The confidence gap" by Russell Harris. Pace yourself and don't be to hard on yourself🙂 please feel free to P.M me if you need a listening ear. Good luck. I hope this info helps you!
Thank you! I ordered the book off Amazon. And I'll check YouTube videos on CBT, and see what Google has. I feel like I must be doing something wrong that attracts manipulative, narcissistic people ever since the TBI took hold. It's like I must be giving off a vibe that says, 'easy mark'. And I just don't have the faintest idea how I am doing this. Never had this problem before.
@FoolsSelf
Welcome. If I may, I would like to comment, from the perspective of a community-based professional who works often with people with a TBI. There are predatory types of people out there, as you are finding, who can sense vulnerability. Without meeting you, I cannot say what that "vibe" you give off might be. I can sense it, myself, but because I am not a predator, I use my senses for good by helping the person with the TBI protect themselves.
You mention you aren't sure what the "easy mark" signals might be. Here are some:
TBI's often have a major feature: you are unable to take in or process a lot of information <--- BIG BLINKING CLUE! Scammers and manipulators rely on this by using fast talking. Once they sense you are easily overwhelmed, they "flood" you with information or stimuli, to distract you, then when you are busy processing the flood of info, they make their move(s).
They may lure you into a sense of safety around them, or somehow gain your trust. Then when you are distracted or sleeping, they snoop for valuables and rob you blind. People with TBI's need more sleep because of "brain drain" so this makes it incredibly easy to abuse them.
Or they "con" you into divulging sensitive info, such as bank accounts, or credit, or passwords.
Or they realize you have controlled medications for pain or sleep, and they find a way to steal these from you. Then when you notice any discrepancies, they dismiss it as forgetfulness.
Here is a suggestion: I don't know what region you live in, but my state has a Brain Injury Alliance, with information specialists, case managers, and other resources. See if your state has anything similar, and ask if you can get involved somehow. There ARE people out there who want to help you and who are "legit." Your task, one of many, is to find them and make allies so that you are not vulnerable to the predators.
Thank you! I will look for that group. And if it is not in my state, perhaps googling keywords like those will help me find a support network. I had no idea that there might be organizations that help with a problem as specific as brain injury and learning how to be careful in relationships. Not beyond social workers who are clearly overwhelmed with heavy caseloads anyway. Thank you again for your time and guidance!
@FoolsSelf
You are so welcome. I also thought that you might consider contacting my state's Brain Injury Alliance and asking the resource facilitator if they know of resources in your state. Below is the direct link and an 800 number for your convenience. I don't work with them, just know of them and call on them for resources for my own clients. Might help you, too!
https://www.braininjurymn.org/resource-facilitation/index.php
Call us at 800-669-6442
I checked it out the other day. My popped up a warning. I may have clicked on a site that is similarly spelled, but it is clickbait. I'll look again tonight.
@FoolsSelf
oh no, sorry! I wish we didn't have to deal with malicious malware, as if life is not challenging enough.
I would suggest searching these terms in your favorite search engine: Minnesota Brain Injury Alliance. They are also on Facebook if you prefer that route.
