Just me

@Tsnliu1969 I am so sorry for your loss. That must be so tough to lose the family member that is an anchor for you.

Have you tried to visit the LGBTQ community? https://www.7cups.com/connect/groupChatrooms.php

If you cannot see the group, log out and log in and it should tell you what you need to do to unlock it. Another alternative is you may see "Unlock Group Support" when you click on link above.

Hi Lucerne sorry to hear about your mom. I still miss my mom son much and everyday think of things I wish I would have told her or understood more about her. But I guess we were the lucky one to have such awesome moms

I have felt all so alone. living with him for voer 37years. Ge will never talk to me about anything and I i try to brink up just taking to him for just a few minutes, he is always so agreavted and so frystrated wth ne, He did comlement himself one day about how proud he was of how little he talked. I get it as he was raised by his grandfater out in Oklhoma and they ddi not barely tallk . He grandfater weas born in 1876 and did live over a 100 years old. He doies as his gradfather did. he does not communicate, doesn't sheare feeligns and is so aggreaved and highly usset with me so that i have leared over thre years ot nver show emotions of any kinds. I never do cry , laugh, express feelings or thoughts. It just is not allowed here and he is in charge of us. I do not know who I am anymore or anything about me anymore. People are not allowed here. I have begged and been alowed to have 2 diff friends in from my church on diff ocasions. They treated him hicely and tried to greet him and be kind and interested in them. He just turns away from them and acts as if they are bothering him and I a so embarrased for them. I need to be working on taking more care of him, as I do think he is getting early onset dementia and he is now 65, and it may be going on. It has been hard living here throughtout the years. I have went through lots of pysical and a little bit of sexual abuse from him. We just do not talk bout that eitherand just seem like that never all happened. I love him and hve totally forgiven him completely and forgivness does come easily for me. I just need to find a way to keep going on, keep feeling ok, keep finding reasons to live and try. I want to know who I am at this point in my life. I do know that I want to be good to others and spend time with doing that. He hates that and doesn;t understand that one bit. So, it is not okay with him. I do not want to anger him very bad and get him all back into being abusive to me more. I do not think I can take it anymore, as I also underwent horrible physical and some sexual abuse as a kid too. It just all seems so real and seems such a part of life. I have also had other males I of course had no relationship with abuse me physically and sexually. It is the worst when you iknow you are fixing to die and more the worset the younger you are when you feel that is happeing and you are all done for. I want to have some friends in life, in live here in Jacksoville, Florida. I want some friends that are intellieent that can hold a stimulating conversation. I want to do constructive projects with some friends.