So many changes
This decade has been THE most challenging of my life. No one tells you or prepares you for so much all at once.
There were so many things that I've had to cope with I feel like I've been swept into a tornado.
Some very traumatic events including past childhood trauma, recent trauma, job loss, adjusting to stepping into the older season of my life etc.etc. This current decade has made me feel like I was running through my life and I missed something. Specifically Authentic me + authentic love and connection with humans.
Trauma at a real young age presents challenges beyond the normal. It also doesn't equip you with the skills you need to traverse this time I find myself in.
Some days I say to myself too late idiot. I have a huge invisible weight on me. I carry a lot of pain and suffering emotionally. damage really.
I am grateful for my kids (adults now) and I feel like it's the only thing I did well in all my 50+ years. If it wasn't for them I would not be here.
Sorry about any negativity but I just needed to tell someone who understands. So many wonderful ppl here.
Thank you ABB
@amiableBlackberry92
Hey hey, you never have to apologize for sharing how you're feeling, or about your thoughts, it's got to be your safe space, where you can feel free to share anything you need to get off. It is quite brave of you to acknowledge how you're feeling and have your thoughts a space to be, inside our mind they just keep spiraling, reaching no where, creating more stress, I feel.
The events, and consequences shared here do have an unfortunate, upsetting tone to it, and reasonably so but there's also a lot of inspiration, and drive, exhibiting your resilience and willpower to brave through all the storms and continuing to row your boat, as best as you can. ❤
Super understandable to feel a loss for love and connect, during the struggles, and feeling not very equipped enough to traverse along. Challenges sure our draining to make peace with, lots of accepting, learning, adapting, evolving. It's okay to be at your pace always.
Keep holding on tight, you're doing your best and it does matter. ❤
I think, for a parent one of the most satisfying feelings is to their children grow into a good human being, parenting is no easy job for real, it takes *a lot* out of anyone to first be a parent, and then to be a good parent. Great job, you. ❤
Thx for caring and responding so fast. I appreciate your understanding and support @Sunisshiningandsoareyou.
I struggle so much. I'm glad to have 7 cups , it's a lifeline in the ocean for me .
ABB 💜
@amiableBlackberry92 Ofcourse hehe, happy to be of some support to you. 💜
Really glad you find 7 cups supportive, it certainly is nice to have some support and company while we navigate through the struggles in life. Super proud of you for reaching out. 🤗
@amiableBlackberry92
Hello Blackberry92:
I am so glad you found us here at 7cups. I totally agree with @Sunshiningandsoareyou. As a mother and one that has experienced lots of childhood trauma and adult trauma alongside life changes. It is easy for one to lose his way. I totally resonate with all you are saying. The feeling of being tossed about in a storm that is raging with nobody to helm the ship can be frightening. You are not alone and we here get what you are saying. We are here every step of the way to help support you in any way that we can.
It took courage to express your feelings and I am so proud of you for having the courage to do that.
I also agree with the fact that no one prepares us for all the changes that happen as we age. Physical changes, mental changes, job changes, and family changes. Can all seem to bombard us all at once causing us to feel as if we can't catch a breath before the next thing hits us.
Stop and take a deep breath and know that we are here for you. Hang in there, this to shall pass❤️
@scarletPear1945
Thank you so much for your encouraging words. They are so much appreciated. It feels good to know I have supporters here that really get it and understand.
ABB 💜
@amiableBlackberry92
😊😊❤️
@amiableBlackberry92
I totally hear you, Blackberry. My childhood traumas messed up my entire life. Abusive father who tried to molest me, chronic illness, bullying at school - I learned to cope with all of that by avoiding reality and living in a dream world. I would try to avoid whatever scared me. Only recently - late in life - did my eyes open. My past is full of regrets and grief. I don't have kids, never got married. I am torn between leaving this *** world or keep trying. I keep telling the universe "I just want another chance! You owe me that! Do something to help for a change!" Maybe that's crazy, but that's how I feel.
@goodSpruce3041
Thank you for your support it's greatly appreciated 👍. I'm sorry life's thrown you so much awful stuff. My eyes opened late in life too. I have alot of grief in that.
You deserve something wonderful for sure. I recently was trying to brainstorm how to find new friends at this age. Tricky problem.
Of all things I want to ride horses before I die. It's pretty expensive but I'm trying to find a way.
People say it's never too late right?
I think you could find one thing you'd love to try too.
Best always ABB 💜
@amiableBlackberry92. It’s never too late. And horses are wonderful creatures.
I’ve started my 50s with a bang. My mother died shortly before my 50th birthday. A relief in some ways. Painful in others. I suddenly feel so alone. I’m married and my wife is the reason I keep going. I keep hoping it gets better. But when?
@inventiveEast46
I get it....I started my 50s with the death of my dad with incredible grief but an awakening of his abuse towards me and my sibs. Talk about a big ole mess it continued with a medical crisis, a sexual assault and a near death of one of my adult children. That's just the short list.
I'm still surviving it all but it's a tricky road ....
Therapy has helped a lot and I'm better but still looking for some joy and real friendship.
I'm sorry you are feeling alone. Just know that your not alone in this, you have friends here that understand. 🙏
Best ABB 💜
