Work stress and burnout
I've been fighting burn out at work, on and off, for a couple of years now. I work in a very stressful, very negative environment and the job itself is very un-fullfilling. I knew this many years ago when I went into this field. I don't know why I chose this field, but here I am. I work in a correctional facility around some very manipulative and narcissistic individuals. The staff, myself included, as you can imagine, are 95 percent alpha male. When you get that many of us together in one area, well, I'm sure you all get where I'm going with this.....anyway......I've been in corrections since 1997 and am 3 and half years shy of my 55th birthday, when I can retire and collect. I have all the signs of burnout, and have been doing everything I can, on my own, to take care of it and myself. Fortunately, I can say that this hasn't really effected my home/family life. Because I love working out, going to the gym, as well as biking, I haven't fallen victim to excessive alcohol use or other self destructive coping behaviors, like I see so many in my career field are falling victim to.
About 3 years ago, I started having these bouts of burnout. They would last anywhere from a few days to a week, then they would go away for months at a time, come back and cycle like that. I can't really place a trigger on what causes these bouts of burnout. About 9 months ago, I had a one that lasted almost a month. I couldn't shake it and I hated it. I hated going to bed at night because I knew I had to go to that negative place the next morning when I woke up. My days off were filled with nothing but thinking about the fact that I had to go back to work. It was bad, I knew it was bad, and needed to do something. Working out wasn't helping, and I lost all desire to do anything except sit on the couch and watch tv. It was when I came "this close" to just walking away that I decided it was time to seek a professional for coping mechanisms, because leaving this career, this far in, with the finish line so close, just isn't an option. The therapy didn't go quite as I expected. I did 3 video sessions and stopped. I got the feeling that this guy couldn't really help me because he didn't understand what we do, and I was turned off by the whole experience. It kinda got me thinking that unless someone has actual experience in this field, knows what we do and go through day in and day out, I'm not going to get the advice on the coping mechanisms that I need. I have since taken to the internet, google is a great thing, done a lot of reading, and taken bits and pieces from some forums here, (thank you all for sharing) and found some things that are working for me and making my work life balance a little more easier for the time being.
I know this is a long post. If you made it this far, thanks for coming along for the ride. I'm not sure what I'm looking for with this post other than just writing it out and sharing. I guess I just want to say thank you to this site for giving me a place to look for answers and just type out thoughts and feelings.
Have a great weekend peeps....
That's a hard row to h0e, man...wish I knew what advice to give you here.
Am a civilian now but was a security monkey for a few years. The last three jobs I had were in corporate settings--two of them in timeshare resorts, if that matters--& I was involved in some action here & there. Of course there was workplace politics. So I have a vague idea of what your job is like, even as I know my experience scarcely compares to yours. The pressures of staying on guard against the dangers of hardened convicts & the inevitable maneuvering of your coworkers would wear anyone out after working in the correctional field for long enough.
Your post has only reinforced my pro-de^th-sentence/anti-prison stance. Of all the forms of mental illness, ASPD is among the most incurable. As a solution to crime warehousing career sociopaths at public expense, together with beta males who inevitably wind up as their followers or victims, is not economical nor moral nor wise. I can think of far better uses for all that taxpayer money every year than keeping such dangerous bipeds alive while fueling prison subcultures--including those of the prison gangs. Rehabilitation for those who can benefit from it & disposing of those who can't would be far better for society as a whole, as well as for those who can be redirected to benefit it. But I digress.
Quitting is surely a temptation for you, but I would caution against making any hasty moves. If your job has retirement benefits or a pension & you don't have much time left before they kick in, you might want to stick it out...do as little as you can while still keeping your job, don't take any of your work home with you & keep track of the days. You wouldn't be the first guy to do it. On the other hand if you really can't stand any more of the bulls*** & it is eroding your mental health, maybe you oughtta walk away. I can't tell you anything specific without knowing more about your situation. I would if I could, but I cannot.
You make some really great points in your reply. I would enjoy a conversation on the topic of prisons, jails and rehabilitation. Share information from an insiders view but a view that isn't from an incarcerated individual. I would never try to change anyones mind or their feelings on that topic, I respect everyone and their feelings, as long as they don't try to shove them down my throat. I'm not sure some people wouldn't end up arguing or insulting others in that type of discussion. I'm also not sure if there is a place on 7cups for this type of discussion. Thank you for your response and insight. I really appreciate it.
