New and struggling with an alcoholic husband
My husband is an alcoholic. We have been together for 21 years. He is not a “happy drunk” he is angry and verbally abusive. He has always been a drinker but COVID has exasperated everything. The past 6 months have been hell. He knows he has a problem. I just don’t know if I can stay with him. I love him. He is part of me. He has been since the day we met. I am in therapy and my therapist knows. I am 53. Don’t know if I can or should stay anymore.
My father was alcoholic. You don't have to live with someone to love them. Maybe a step back or for you to take a temp step out will help him to face the reality he needs help. Put you, your needs 1st . It sounds like you are miserable( I can relate but with separate issue) what does the therapist say? Blessings to you. Hope you find the answer.
Have you reached out to AlAnon? It's for family members who have an alcoholic who affects them. You'd find a lot of support from many people who have and/or are still struggling. I hope if you haven't, that you will. There are meetings online.....and its anonymous!
That's a really difficult situation to be in. Because you've built a life with him. Is he willing to seek help? Does he know there is a problem? Sometimes, leaving is really hard, but it might be the thing he needs to get himself well. if you are not financially dependent on him, can you leave temporarily? Do you have children to care for?
If he is abusing you, you will be hurting. You are hurting either way, if you stay, or if you leave. Do you think leaving will hurt more in the short term but be better in the long term? I hope you can find a solution that gives you some peace.
I understand your situation, I too am with alcoholic. It's very hard and it hurts so bad no matter what you do and it is hard to deal with at times. I am so sorry you are going through this. Please make sure you are safe if things get violent.
@dontknowwhatsnext
welcome to 7 cups and ty for sharing. You are such a strong survivor and very resilient and courageous to deal with this everyday. I hope he sees the pain it's causing you and he decides to get help for his addiction before he hurts you anymore. Otherwise it might be time if all other options are exhausted to re-analyze your relationship with him and decide whats best for you. While I understand you love him, my opinion is if he loves you and sees how his addiction is effecting you and he won't change for you then maybe he isnt the right choice for you ultimately. Again thats my opinion. I am not telling you what to do. You need to figure out whats best for you so you don't have to just put up with things and enable his behavior. I will pray for you to find the right path you seek to bring you happiness and fulfillment 🙏🏻🙏🏻.
here is what i advise you to do you can try and get him some help you could give him one week to decide if he wants the help if he says no then leave because you can not be the only one trying to fix the problem he has to try and fix the problem to i know its going to be hard on you but you have to do what is best for you
Hello. How are you? I read your post. My husband has the
same as yours, more issues. He'd been drug addicted for many years then alcoholic since then. He's an angry person with no reasons. I've been abused verbally... You posted an year ago, but I hope you're doing well. Thank you.
