Passing On Slowly
TW: Death, Dying, and the Unexpected
Ok so how goes the dying process this week?
I do not qualify for hospice for two reasons:
1. My records are poor quality (medical records). So they cannot just look see, yep cancer has metastasized everywhere; she is done for. Or the dialysis people say there is no point. They want something that clear because they then stop every other treatment also.
2. My doc referred me to hospice AND a bunch of specialists, so since she can't make up her mind they won't either.
3. There is no question of what is happening. It is more like how far along is everything, might treatment help still? I shouldn't have been denied for palliative care but I do understand why hospice said, not yet.
4. I was able to go have some fun still today so I am not yet totally bedridden or totally homebound.
I am running into less science and more fear and people's attitudes, and their inability to deal with death.
My doc; that lady is gungho she doesn't want to give up and this is personal NOT medical.
Heart, lungs, kidneys all have big diagnoses now. Systemic lupus! Thyroid and look your liver is going south. Your blood oxygen is persistently too low.
This is not survivable; I can think of, off rip, five ways for the Grim Reaper to swipe his scythe.
I am cute look much younger than I am. No one wants me to die; when your doctor is take more vitamins and I signed your DNR by the way....
Deep sigh. I just let the medical folks run and go back to living Bucket List.
Dang the hematologist/oncologist is pushy I set up an appointment! What's wrong, is business slow???
Better call my doc or she will send the police by to make sure I am still alive and stuff.
Sigh.
https://youtu.be/PIb6AZdTr-A
@RogueOne1983
I'm so sorry to hear about your situation and the challenges you're facing. It's understandable to feel hopeless or scared when faced with dire circumstances, but it's important to remember that there are always things you can do to make the best of your time and find joy and meaning in your life, even in the face of death.
First, it's important to keep up regular communication with your doctor and other healthcare professionals to ensure that you have the best possible care. If you have concerns about any of your diagnoses or treatment options, make sure to ask questions and make your preferences known.
Second, it's important to focus on the things that bring you joy and fulfillment in your life, whether it's spending time with loved ones, pursuing hobbies, or working on your bucket list. Find ways to create memories and make the most of the time that you have left.
Third, it's important to reach out for support when you need it. Consider finding a support group, therapist, or counselor who can provide a safe space for you to process your emotions and thoughts. It can also be helpful to talk to friends or family members who can offer emotional support and lend a listening ear.
Finally, it's important to find a sense of purpose and meaning in your life, even when faced with a terminal illness. Consider what your passions and values are, and how you can use your time to make a positive impact on the world around you.
Remember that you are not alone, and there are people who care about you and want to support you. It's normal to feel scared or overwhelmed at times like these, but there is always hope and always something you can do to make the most of your life.