Everything is a struggle
From getting out of bed, to bathing al the way to getting into bed then it is a struggle to try and get any sleep.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami
Friend - why is it such a struggle for you?
With great love from Helga.
@Helgafy
I am so far down the rabbit hole after decades of severe depression, severe social anxiety, " gender/sexuality " issues, not knowing who or what I truly am because I have hid from everyone including myself for far too long. I read books on emotions and facial expressions when I was young so I could fit into society. I don't ever remember having a true positive "feeling or emotion". I have failed at everything except pretending which technically I failed since I had my breakdown and can't seem to bury things anymore. I am not good with people... I am not good with myself.
I guess my depression has taken over and on top of what I have stated the other issues I deal with I am overwhelmed and scared.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami
Holy friend! God loves you, sees you, knows you! Isn't that awsome1 He'll hold your hand when you try to come out of your rabbit-hole. Let His peace stream throught your whole existence!
From Helga.
@Helgafy
thank you
@Helgafy Thank you again for your kindness and support. I haven’t truly appreciated anyone’s efforts until tonight and I’m so sorry for that. Please accept my apologies for my not appreciating you the way I should have.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami
Wonderful person. I just want the best for you.
From you sister on this earth - Helga.
@Helgafy Thank from the deepest point of my newly found heart.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami
Wow - you found your heart. It is the essense of what many of us are looking for our whole life - our inner being, heart, soul.
Shine friend.
From Helga.
Thank you once again for sharing your kindness.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami I'm sorry you're going through this. Dealing with depression and anxiety is tough. I just got out of a manic phase and I'm afraid I'll now slip into a depression. That's usually how the rollercoaster goes.
The best way I found to relate to people is to attend a depression support group or some other group. It's low pressure. You don't have to talk until you want to. Hearing people share their struggles, you might identify with something they say. It's a good feeling to hear from someone who's been through depression and anxiety like I have. I feel less "crazy" and abnormal.
I hope this helps. Please do something small to take care of yourself, even if it's just fixing a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Thank you.
@iamhannah1998 I am truly grateful and thankful you had reached out to me . I did not appreciate your kindness at the time you offered it to me, but I do now
@iamhannah1998 I appreciate your kind words of support. I am thankful you reached out to me.
I feel the same.
@shyCat542
Good morning to you Cat.
I hope this will be a good day for you!
Thank you.
Hi
@JK8287 Thank you for reaching out to me, I sincerely hope that I didn’t fail you in any way, I am really concerned that I have, all we exchanged was “hi” ….. I hope you are ok. I apologize for my ignorance and lack of a proper response.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami
Yes, everything is a struggle, even things that should not be. Does any of it matter? NO. For being here, with how it is, it is not a helpful place, and I believe will become further from this. Some people do want to help in their own small ways; but, that is so smothered by all else that goes on here. Life is a constant struggle, but what does that matter to anyone anyway?? Being here is also a constant struggle and only makes things worse. Sanction me for this opinion also!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@Amelia2324
thank you.
I know this place is not a solution for me but it is at the very least a place to be honest about anything and everything regarding the true me.
periodically getting feedback from others. I appreciate any and all comments etc. regarding anything that I put out here,
I am probably never going to be anything different than what I am now. So if being here is only just enough to keep the "edge" off I suppose it is worth it.
@Amelia2324 Thank you for reaching out, I am so sorry for failing you, you were struggling , hopefully not anymore, I am so wrapped up in my own struggles I have failed to recognize others. I’m so sorry for my prior response..
I have been going back over my previous responses because I have just come to realize that I haven’t truly appreciated everyone else here who is struggling, or everyone who takes the time to send a few words in response to my ramblings. I made it to this one struggling a bit with emotions but now I am angry with myself for deeply failing to recognize your pain.
I am so sorry, please accept my apologies. I hope you’re ok.
How can I go from the best day yesterday to the absolute worst today. I’m beginning to think having emotions is not such a good thing.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami
I am like you - ups and downs!
I have gotten used to the ride , but when I have a swing like I just experienced, I was at the highest I have ever been then I went to the lowest. After 40+ years of the ride to experience that much of a change is ….. I can’t think of any way to describe it.
Thank you for reaching out.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami
Friend - my "ride" (depression) started after an operation when I was 42. I removed my womb. So my ride has just lasted for 28 years (I'm a 70 years old single woman and if you don't like to write to old people it's OK!). I also commented your "new" heart above.
Let us shine today Iam.
From your old friend Helga.
@Helgafy I apologize I didn’t see this post until now. I am in my fifties and as far as age goes , it really doesn’t matter once you cross that 50 mark. We are all in the same boat at this point. Just all gathering on it from the varying paths we got here on.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami
Hi Iam.
Maybe you did not see the message below yesterday, so now here comes 2 messages for you. You write "Iam" and it has made me think of the one who calls himself "I am". And guess what; Yesterday (Sunday) I wanted to watch GodTV. Charles Stanley talked of "The Great I am." I searched for the sermon at intouch.org, but I didn't find it.
@Helgafy you are correct, I didn’t see your posts for some reason yesterday and I am deeply sorry for that. I’m very grateful to have you in my life and a part of my journey.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami
Hi Iam.
You don't need to be "deeply" sorry! Just a small thing. I live in Bergen, Norway.
From Helga.
The magic of the internet, making such a massive place into a “small “ world. You are proof positive that this is a wonderful community. Thank you as always.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami
Hi Iam - I think your name is Frankie and you live in the USA - ha.ha!
I have read your story of yourself - very hard! Maybe Jesus Christ once will make all your scars into stars.
I don't know if you like music and what kind of music you like. I have one for you about the great "I am" - "What a beautiful name." - Hillsong Worship. We have talked a little bit of our "ups and downs". Here is a song about that: "God on the mountain" - Lynda Randle.
From Helga.
@Helgafy Thank you. Your words of kindness are heartfelt and appreciated.
@Helgafy. I have a question, hopefully you can answer if that’s alright.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami
Hi.
Can you please ask amiablepeace77 (listener) about that.
From Helga.
@Helgafy. Ok , thanks anyway. It was something that popped up in one of the growth suggestions. I was just curious what it was.Thanks again for being so wonderful.
I agree
