How did you transition your relationship with your kids as they grew into adults?
This question isn't geared at anyone in particular. Just everyone who has been through the "kids grew up" phase.
I'm in the beginning of "my baby is now an adult" and I'm having some difficulties. I'm trying to understand that my son is an adult now. He has no obligation to tell me anything, really. He doesn't have to tell me who he's dating, where he was last night, etc. And I'm having a struggle with it because we have a good relationship, but he's in college now, and is growing up into a fine young man, And I don't know all the details of things...and I guess I shouldn't know, either.
But, it's hard. I have fears about him lying to me, which, when I say it out loud, kind of makes me chuckle. I mean, let's face it. He has lied to me. And he will lie to me again. I just don't know what about. Even the best of kids will lie, whether it's to protect themselves from punishment, or protect parents from feeling hurt about choices...
So, I'm trying to learn what it means to be the parent of a new adult. I want a future where we're having the same amazing conversations and relationship without my fears of "what he isn't telling me" in the background.
How do I change and grow from being the parent of a child to the parent of an adult?
@thoughtfulmomma
Yeah....this phase is not fun. As parents, this is what we work so hard to help them achieve -- independence, success, self-confidence and then when they leave....ouch. It's HARD and complicated emotionally.
But just know, you must be doing a great job as a parent because now your baby bird is flying solo and leaving the nest all because of your love, support and guidance ❤️
Hugs to you momma! You did good!
@halcyonCloud2036
A great encouraging Post! Thank you!
@thoughtfulmomma
Very Great Post! I can relate. The process was not at all fun.. You are a great Mom!
One of the things that I have learned in life with my own kids is to be nonjudgmental, not reprimand them (as adults), and provide a safe place for them to feel like they can tell me anything.
i don’t try to fix anything unless they ask me for help. I sit and listen to them no matter what they’re going through and let them know that they’re not alone. I am vulnerable with them which in turn allows them to be that with me. It’s been really good for our relationship.
@thoughtfulmomma
That is a hard one to navigate. I am 52 and my son is going to be 30 next month. We have a good relationship as well. It is so hard to let them go and be adults and finding the right balance, of knowing when advice should be given or not. One thing for sure is, if advice is needed, he will come to you for advice, or to discuss any problems he may be going through being that you both are close helps.
Has my son told me everything? No, will he tell me everything no. Trust the fact that you raised him well and the fact if he does need anything he will come to you. As far as conversations go, they will continue, maybe not to what you are used to, but they will happen.
@thoughtfulmomma Thank you for sharing this. I too have this issue. Day by day I just pray and hope we can one day become the close people we once were. No one prepares you for this stage of their life. Bless wishes momma!