Update for day 35 on here, 90 steps...

(posted in the milestones thread as well, but figured you guys might appreciate it too)

35 day streak, step 90... what have I learned in 5 weeks...

6 weeks ago I blew up on my 16yr old neice over something that should have never been an issue...6 weeks ago, I finally admitted that Bipolar was causing an issue with life...

6 weeks ago I finally admitted that I needed help dealing with it...

16 years of bipolar swings increasing in severity and frequency finally hit a tipping point, went begging to my GP for help.

In the last 5 weeks I've had more meaningful discussions with my GP than the idle chatter of annual physicals the last 11yrs...

Since dropping the facade of being 'normal' my family looks at me different but they're no longer walking on eggshells around me (the first 2 weeks were touch and go), even though they did essentially accuse me of doing this now (during other extented family issues) as a way of getting attention...

In the last 5 weeks there has been a flood of information, meetings, decisions, and acceptance... There are a lot of resources out there now that were not around when this all stared 16yrs ago, and I have learned that even though bipolar is a lifetime disease to deal with it's not a life sentence.

I've made a sizable dent on the journey of a thousand steps towards recovery in the last 5 weeks. I was reminded again this last week (by a case worker, that also suffers from bipolar) that it's been 16yrs so far and it's not going to be suddenly fixed in a year, so minor setbacks are exactly that, minor... take what you can in stride and ride the waves of what you can't. It will eventually get better with work. I'm just waiting to see what comes out the other end of this journey when I hit a place that I can consider myself 'stable' again... it's been 1/2 my life descending to this current state so far. I've had high and low points (oh, have I had low points!) in 16yrs of this, but I'm still kicking.