Self-Love Is a Developmental Achievement
"Narcissism is a healthy and natural part of psychological development throughout one’s lifetime. Kohut followed the teachings of Freud until the 1970s when he advanced a narcissistic line of development found in all individuals, the healthy as well as disturbed. He believed self-love was at the core of psychological health and lasting relationships. Self psychology addresses the suffering some feel as they encounter difficulties regulating self-esteem. For some, self-esteem lacks stability and makes sudden and erratic shifts from feelings of greatness to those of abjection.
Kohut believed most people spend their lives trying to build and maintain self-esteem through the use of other people in relationships. Selfobjects are other people who are not seen as separate, with agency and intentionality, but who are used to keep the self from falling apart.
The use of omnipotence in health and illness
Kohut described two core narcissistic configurations in relation to fantasied power: the grandiose self and the idealized parent. These two poles of the self express needs that are ubiquitous in everyone.
Early mirroring and idealizing interactions provide the very structures of self. Childhood yearnings for omnipotent belief in oneself or an Other should be acknowledged and validated, Kohut argued. If these needs are met by the empathy of a parent, over time the child gradually recognizes that their inflated perceptions of self and Other are unrealistic. The child is able to tolerate this inevitable frustration and disappointment and develop healthy and resilient narcissism. Under these circumstances, both polarities (grandiose self and idealized Other) are integrated into the personality.
It’s when this affirmation is missing, due to an overcritical, misattuned, or absent parent, that a person continues to rely on admiration from others and external sources of acclaim for the nourishment of self-esteem."
Read the complete article available at Psychology Today!
Reflection:
Do you think you have a healthy dose of self-love?
#SelfLove #SelfEsteem #Personality
@comfortableNight4463 I believe that all people have the same insticts, personality cues and potential disorders in them.
We all though have these characterestics in different quantities and combinations which is what makes us special.
Finding balance among all these characterestics is what makes us grow and develop resilience and self-love. It can take time and effort but these are skills that can be taught and learned!
Thank you for the great post!
@calmDew1576 What a wonderful insight into your thoughts! Thanks for sharing!
@comfortableNight4463
I think I am certainly in a journey of self-love at the moment.
I still need more improvement, but I am getting there!
Thanks for the post night! 💛💫
@innateJoy9602 I wish you all the best on your journey of self-love!
