Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution –
The art of dealing with someone after we just muted/warned them

Next to us dedicating our active listening skills to the group support rooms
we also have to be the ones to enforce the chatroom rules in order to make it possible
for everyone to get treated equally, with respect and compassion.
Sadly it is the case that we get personally attacked by few users who only see the green badge
and thus are trying to make our lives harder; especially after we had to give out warnings.

While we understand that not everyone can have a good day or only have had good encounters
with moderators, we dont have to accept that we get insulted or similar.

The dislike we get from our actions will always be there and we cant change that
someone is upset because they got warnings, but this post is for incidents where
it is likely this particular user might bring that topic up again to a later point of time
or influences others into developing dislike.

The following text will be about prevention (of future incidents) and intervention
(if we have a chance to have a live chat) in casewe get to know which specific
Member stands out with their behaviour.

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It would be easy to simply give out warnings to everyone and we should always think of
the warning button as something we only use if it is really needed;
even easier if we ignore the Member completely or even deny replying to messages by them.



If you have concerns about a moderator's conduct, do not raise the issue directly in the
support room. You can report/share any concerns using the Group Support Review form
- @Heather via forum post



The group support rooms arent the place to share concerns, but not every user knows that there
is a special form they may show or give them this form.
It is always recommended to talk about the Member in a 1-on-1 chat even if we feel annoyed
or were clearly the ones who were the right ones and did everything perfect.



As a moderator, you can always use healthy conflict resolution skills. In some way, you are
also representing other moderators.

A conflict happens between two or more persons (who?) and at least one conflict cause (what?)
and a conflict behavior (how?).
There are few solutions, but not every one of them is possible to have or even helpful.

Escape: Feeling burned out might be a reason to not contact this Member and ask if they want
to talk about it and to end this conflict. The learning process does not happen.

Fight: We will neither fight with someone nor impose our opinion or force our interest on someone.
It might be hard to go through a chat full of emotions, but we are Listeners.

Suborder: We can. of course, apologize for our actions when we have warned or muted someone
for the wrong reason. If we did everything well then taking this solution isnt helpful.

Delegation: If both sides cant continue then we may ask a Group Moderation Leader or
Group Quality Mentor if they can act as mediator.
Note: There has to be a wrong and a right.

Compromise: Depending on what the interests of each person are, there can be a compromise.
For example that the Moderator acts friendlier towards the Member and that the Member focuses
more on the messages which other Members or Guests write.

Consensus: Probably the most difficult solution to achieve, but the one which we should always
try to get to. It is not possible every time and sometimes a compromise is the highest stage we can get,
but a consensus is the best when it comes to the long-term.

An example for the consensus is that the Member starts filling out the feedback forms or uses the
forums to share concerns while the Moderator stays in contact with the Member, explains
many things or maybe becomes friends with that Member or at least be someone who they
can have a support session with.

Whatever a member will text and how upset they might be, if you did everything like the guidelines
want it that way, then its not about justifying yourself, but more rather that you,
as someone who represents other Moderators, show why you took those actions and that
in detail.
Sometimes those little things we have in our personality, such as swearing, are the things which
need to be changed. That cant be done instantly, but suppressing those things only for 7Cups is
still to a certain point possibility.

You have to stay respectful and professional in every case. The goal is to make it all end and
not to leave it open until something happens which would be the starter for more dislike.

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Every situation is different just as every person is, so we have to trust our own skills and choose the
best measure and what makes sense to us.
In a few cases, all we can do is write one long text and leave it at that because we dont want to get
an unfair review or that we really feel burned out.

We cant change how everyone sees us, but that we try to show them another part of us is more than
what is needed and always has an effect.