An open letter
Dearest @discreetAcres6234,
I address this letter to you, because you
You both has touched my hearts with your letter. And without any1 addressing my name in these letters but i don't feel lonely anymore. I do relate a lot to you guys. But 7cups helps a lot especially with the presence of kind ppl like u.
@politeCup86, I'm so glad that it eased your feelings a bit. I'm also happy to be part of this community too, for the same reasons as you are ^^ You make this place a kinder place and I'm grateful for that.
Sending you lots of hugs!
@Celaeno
sending lots of hugs and love right back at you 
@politeCup86 I'm happy to hear that we touched your heart. I believe Celaeno deserves the credit though, they're a real beacon of hope when you're looking for a little help :)
As the category states, lets feel lonely together. Having company is always reassuring.
Lots of love - DA
@discreetAcres6234
well to be honest your letter has touched my heart the most, bcuz i felt like it was me who wrote this beautiful expressing letter, it meant to much to me, same feeling as exact, i really do understand what you go through..... Million of Virtual Hugs to you DA
@politeCup86 It's heartbreaking to know that there are others out there who feel just as alone as I do. No one else should feel this way, it's horrible and painful.
But I am glad that the way I expressed my thoughts and feelings have impacted you like this. It was difficult to put it all down in words but in the end I was able to get it out of my system. I'm glad you took the time to read and found comfort in our words.
I gladly return each hug to you. God knows we both need it <3
@discreetAcres6234
Indeed my friend 
Thank you so much for this open letter, @Celaeno <3 You are a hero.
For me it's even harder to see who really cares when the only person who seems to care lives thousands of miles away and you can only spend time with them through the magic of the internet. I wish I was good at the whole social thing and making friends in real life but it doesn't seem to work that way for me. I can't tell if I'm just too shy and socially awkward or if people genuinely don't want to be with me. Others seem to find it easier to make connections whereas I find it so much harder. The thought of things not going well makes my stomach turn.
I do know that ultimately we are all alone in this world, I tell myself this a lot and I try to feel okay with it but I can't seem to achieve that. The thought makes the emptiness in my chest get deeper until all I'm left with are bad thoughts. Some days I manage to find some form of distraction, other days nothing seems appealing. I've basically spent most of the past two weeks sleeping just to escape reality so I won't have to think or feel anything. I hate it, it just makes me feel like I'm wasting my life away.
It's hard for me to feel important in this world. My existence doesn't seem very meaningful. I don't impact people, I'm just there in the background going unnoticed and blending into the background. I want to try harder to come out of the shadows but I can't force myself to do it, thinking is much easier than doing.
I know that this fight is my own, I know that no one can help me, I don't expect anyone to. All I want is for someone to be there you know? Just being there is enough and I don't feel as if I even have that. These negative feelings are getting way too frequent and I can't stop them. I also can't afford my antidepressants anymore and can't afford to continue with therapy so I have nothing to get me through. I don't even feel like I'm living, just surviving day after day.
You're like a bright light trying to find a way through the dark void to me. Your endless support is heartwarming.
All my love - DA
@discreetAcres6234
You'll never be lonely here and it looks like you've made a good friend too. Please appreciate it and remember you're never truly alone.
@SilentSerenityy, I'm glad that you took your time to remind my wonderful friend that she isn't alone. It was very kind of you, lovely.
@SilentSerenityy thank you :) Even though my mind wants me to believe I am completely alone most of the time, it's places like this and people like you who are there to tell me that there are always people out there willing to make me less lonely.
It's a tough mentality to get out of but I try my best. Sometimes I succeed and other times I fail. Another thing that I want to try getting better at is being more open when I need a little extra support. It's scary and makes me feel pathetic that I can't help myself but trying to keep everything all to myself and handle it alone doesn't help at all, it only makes it worse.
Stay kind - Love DA
@discreetAcres6234,
Im glad that somehow this letter eases your pain. My heart is aching when I read how much youre struggling – which of course isnt your fault at all, not ever, but I wish I could help you in more substantial way. Still, the magic of the Internet can makes wonders ^^ Without it, Id never connected with you and thats something Im grateful for.
To be honest, Im not awesome in making friends, too. I much prefer to have a closed, small circle of people whom I trust, so Im not consistently searching for new ones. Im an introverted type of human and Im more than satisfied with less than 5 people and this often includes my own family ^^; But I think that most of us are self-conscious about stepping forward and meeting new people. Im also shy, but some time ago I figured out that pretending to be socially outgoing in new, stressful for me situations is a way to ease my awkwardness. I often make stupid remarks out of nervousness, but when I fake confidence, even if it takes a lot of energy from it, its easier for me to cope. And I dont mean lying about my personality, but just creating a new version of myself- kinder, more open and brave, interested in the people around me. But I dont have a social anxiety, so I know my hack is less accurate and useful for your situation.
You said you are sleeping away your life, but thats okay, lovely. There is no manual how to exist on this planet. The society often impose on us the obligation to be happy and productive and adventurous throughout the passing days, promoting our individuality and independence, but this is far from the reality. You feel uncomfortable with the thoughts of inevitable loneliness, but that should be like that, because it is harsh and painful to accept. You want to escape from reality, but at the same time you feel disappointed with your actions, and that shows how deep your self-awareness reach in you – you want something better for yourself and thats a need some of us never realized. Distracting is wonderful for the short-term period – it helps you to cope with disorders, enduring your heartaches and worries, and there is nothing wrong in that. Still, there is a difference between distractions and avoidance (the distinction which Im still learning myself) and it is not a solution to achieve a calmer, brighter future for yourself.
You can hate you actions, wonderful – thats a valid emotions, but feelings are indications which paths and task are right for us. Notice it, along with your thoughts, but remember they are just that, nothing more. You are more than them. Your personality is larger and more complicated for certain.
You said that your existence isnt meaningful, because you dont impact people. There are several points in here which tell me more about you. First, you have a need to be noticed and heard, and thats human and understandable. Secondly, you want to make a difference in this world. That something worth admiring. Thirdly, you think that your life can be only meaningful when you impact other peoples lives. Personally, I think life is more complicated than that. I firmly believe that our lives are meaningful without trying at all on our part, because the odds to be born is 1 in 10 [2,685,000] (here are calculations and heres a cool infographic about them). Thats pretty mind-blowing to me and highly improbable. It makes me think that just coming to this universe is like winning a lottery, and what will you do with your life after that is just a bonus ^^ We dont have to prove to anyone that our life is meaningful, because everyone is and this is something which we impose on our existence ourselves.
Still, I dont know you at all, to be honest, but maybe thats could be your professional goal? Impacting peoples life, I mean. I know that youre learning to become a filmmaker and which would be more awesome than that? Movies can change peoples perspectives and attitudes and they can definitely impact their lives, like all art does.
Im sorry that you feel alone. I know that a recent fight with your best friend only reinforces your emotions of abandonment. For what its worth, Im here for you. Its not perfect, and it could be not enough for you, but this is something I can give you. It doesnt help you at all with your situation with medical treatment which I fully understand that scares you and makes the struggle even harder. But maybe I can help you brainstorm ideas how to survive this? Do you have any ideas how to help you continue to take your antidepressants?
And surviving one day at a time is enough. Im doing it every day and this is something which helps me immensely to keep moving. When having depression, I dont expect anything more from myself, because living is so, so hard for me, it is not fair and healthy to push myself more. I dont want to break myself. And I think, you dont have to turn the world today. You have so much to overcome, your brain needs more gentleness and kindness form you. Just breathe and be. That is enough. World can wait – it was long before our birth and it will exist in the next months.
All my heart's love!
@Celaeno I feel less overwhelmed now than I did before. My brain has stopped over thinking for now. I wish your heart didn't feel so heavy after reading how I feel, I never want to upset anyone (which is why I find it hard to vent to people.)
I think one thing that I have to come to accept is that maybe I can't really be helped. There is no one out there who can make all the bad feelings go away, not even me. Maybe my path to a better life is to try and learn how to live with these feelings instead of trying to fight them and remove them. Perhaps the only way is to embrace them. If this is the case then I see a very long road ahead of me because I still have no idea how to reassure myself when the mean voices in my head begin tormenting me. I guess this links into the idea of self worth. The first step is to try and see myself as worthy and be kind to myself, maybe that way I will be able to combat the vicious voices in my head that enjoy putting me down. Self love is probably the hardest concept I've ever heard of.
I feel like I only have one person who I actually trust. I have other friends but we don't really speak often. It's just casual conversation here and there. They don't know about the struggles I have and I don't feel the need to tell them either. So I guess it's hard for me to feel like there is only one person in my life who I can actually be myself with and not have to hide anything from. With others it's impossible for me to take my mask off. I am trying to be more open and confident in my classes. Some days I feel extremely willing to contribute whereas other days I would rather just sit back and keep to myself. All I can really do is go with how I'm feeling on that particular day. And I have been trying to connect with people in my class more. Small talk is starting to feel a bit easier. It's not that I don't want to ask people about their days and other things, it's just hard to get the words out most of the time.
I believe I was born hating sleep. I always wanted to be awake so I wouldn't feel like I was wasting my life away. It's something that stuck with me. Although sleeping gets me away from having to suffer through bad emotions and thoughts, it still feels like I should be doing more.
I wish I could feel like my existence was more meaningful. It's just hard when I can't understand my reason for being here. I also don't feel like anyone would notice if I wasn't around. I've lost a lot of friends, I doubt they even think about me because it was easy for them to let me go. It sounds selfish but I do want to be noticed and visible. I want people to think of me as a good person they don't want to be without. I want to feel like i'm irreplaceable and valued. I also want to make a difference in the world, an impact. I want to feel like I have achieved something that I and others can celebrate. I know I sound a bit like an attention seeker, maybe there is a part of me that is, but aren't we all? Don't we all want to be seen?
I don't expect much from people. I know that I'm hard to help and I say that over and over again. My best friend seems to think that when I'm having a bad day she needs to help me in some way but she can't help, all anyone can really do is be there. You being here is more than enough for me, my dear. Just having someone to talk to is soothing.
I try to survive one day at a time. But, unlike you, I do push myself. I push myself because I want to feel like I'm doing something useful. I'm not the kindest person when it comes to myself, if only I was, things would be different then.
I like hearing about your experiences. It shows me a different kind of life to my own. I think you're very brave and I admire your perseverance very much :)
So much love to you <3
@discreetAcres6234, Im so happy that you feel less overwhelmed! I dont mind the heaviness in my heart – it is part of supporting and caring, and you cant really control it. Even if you dont tell people about their experiences, there will always be someone who will worry about you. Besides, Id rather have a heavy heart than an empty space in my chest ^^;
It is such an amazing read, to learn about your thoughts on the subject of self-love. I agree that it is one of the hardest concept to grasp. I always thought that it has such a tacky name – self-love can be easily confused with egocentric tendencies, but it is far from it. Your decision to embrace your feelings, even if you view them as bad, is mature and noble. You are absolutely right that this is a long ride, but if it can ease our sufferings, I think it is definitely worth it. I found some resource for you which I hope can inspire you in this matter [1,2,3].
One person to fully trust is still one person. And you are the one person for them. Isnt that exactly what is worth between humans? You said that your other acquaintances dont know about your struggles, but how could they know? I dont think you confide in them as honesty as you are here, in this community, lovely. Thats understandable, because we dont share about our worries to every person we meet, but it could be an explanation how your conversation is focused on the casual topics. As Ive mentioned, reaching out and making a first step is the only way to stumble upon another kind, loving being. Everyone is focused on their own insecurities, being too afraid to receive another wound. And I think youre already doing so much, but letting yourself continue to hang out with your classmates. Its enough, just take as much time as you need. Friendships are really forged in the rush.
I love sleeping, so theres a huge difference between us, wonderful ^^ But I can absolutely see your point – it may seems as a waste of time, but on the other hand this is the most efficient way for humans to recharge. There is this tale from a Stephen Covey's book which stuck with me throughout a years:
Of course that all of us want to be seen, lovely. But again, you really dont know who will mourn you if youd be gone. You dont know on whom you made an life-long impact, who will miss your presence and voice, who will carry you in his memories. The only who knows that is the person who cares about you, so you can never be certain about your impact. Youve already helped and listened to so many people around the Depression Forum, and I think on other places to, you cannot dismiss that.
I can agree that a kind ear to listen to our heartaches is more than enough to make us feel better. But the beautiful irony of relationships is that when sometimes cares about us and knows that we have worries on our minds, they want to help us as much as they can. And they think the best way is to give advice and solve our problems. And heres a place for appreciation for active listening skills – to just be for someone, listen and dont judge, and give an arm to cry on. Im glad that your best friend wants to support you in a way they think is most appropriate, and maybe she just doesnt know better. But I think, the only way for her to know about your needs is to speak about them – your friend cannot read your mind (I think ^^;) and it seems unfair to her and her efforts to comfort you, when you feel unsupported afterwards, when you dont say for what your mind aches.
Lovely, I push myself, too. But recently Im trying hard to forgive myself for doing it. So it goes like that: I try – I fail – I push myself – I notice – I forgive myself – I try - I fail, etc. I know too well that the line between self-improvement and self-bullying is blurred and that the inner critic can start to become an only voice inside your head. You think of yourself as not the kindest person, but it doesnt mean that you should be defined by it for the whole eternity. You may struggle with it now, but it doesnt cross out your abilities to learn and better yourself. You can learn how to be kinder. You can research and form new habits and exercise this skill, until youll become the version you want. But if you arent satisfied with yourself now, what makes you think that you will be satisfied with yourself in the future? I know that whenever I reach a line I set up for myself, I just move it further. It becomes an ever-lasting cycle of perfectionism and unfulfillment, so for now Im trying to be content with what Ive got and what Ive achieved. Then – but only then – I can strive for larger things.
I really appreciated your kind words, but it is easy to appear to be a brave person than actually be one. I endure, because that is the only way to live with depression – to live at all, I think, in this universe. And enduring means not only struggling, but also noticing small gestures of kindness and beauty. Some time ago I lost my dream to become larger than the world itself, to leave an irremovable mark on the print of human history. My ambition consumes me, so Im putting a lot of energy to control its flame. Instead of that now Im focusing showing appreciation to the people I love, constantly learning and trying to be better than yesterday. And Im pretty content with this plan for the time being. But thats me, and I totally understand your hunger and aspirations.
Sending you loads and loads of hugs!
@Celaeno it's very thoughtful and kind of you to let me take up a small corner of your heart. Worrying about people isn't easy but, as you said, I can't control that.
Those were some very interesting reads. I don't think I ever realised how much past experiences have completely shattered any self esteem I might have had. My views are distorted. It would be nice to be able to view myself and those around me differently but unfortunately I'm not at that point. I truly am my own worst enemy when I should be my own best friend. And I do blame myself for everything because I believe I deserve bad things. I don't know why I feel this way, I just find it hard to believe in the good things when the bad are more frequent and leave the biggest mark.
It may not sound like it but I really do appreciate my best friend more than anything. I feel like sometimes I lose sight of that when I get stuck inside my own thoughts. I try to remind her how much she means to me often, I just hope it's enough for her to see how much I truly love and care about her. I have told a few old friends about the way I had been feeling years ago and it just changed everything. All of a sudden they distanced themselves from me. Maybe it's okay to have friends who don't know my deepest, darkest thoughts and feelings, it keeps the mood light and avoids awkward questions of how I'm doing. I think reaching out is a process for me, a process where I need to learn how to trust people and stop being scared that everyone will just run away because I'm too much.
I actually managed to sleep pretty okay this past week until last night. My dreams were scary and I woke up feeling just as tired as I did when I went to sleep. I've tried to nap throughout the day but it hasn't worked out, I couldn't focus. I liked that story :)
I can feel that you're right but I can't make myself fully believe that people really feel an impact. I feel like maybe I made an impact but it was temporary and it faded into the background. Life is full of these fleeting moments I guess. I'll never know who really cares, but I can try harder to believe them when they say they do.
Sometimes I'm not sure what to say to her. There is always a part of me that doesn't want to speak everything that's on my mind. There was a time when I spoke freely but now I hold myself back from doing so, I fear that I'll become too much or she will grow tired of me because I can't hold myself together. I want support but fail to seek it out, I'm truly battling with myself and it doesn't help me achieve anything.
You're so patient with yourself. I wonder how you learned to become so kind and patient and smart. There is a lot of beauty in the way you treat yourself with such care and understanding. I know you may not treat yourself this way all the time but you don't let it stop you, you find something to be positive about.
I think you're brave for many reasons. Brave for opening your heart so wide to let others in, brave for sharing yourself online, brave for standing up to yourself, brave for exploring and learning, there is so much that makes you wonderful. I feel like I can always see you progressing in some way or another to try and better yourself. You felt the need to slow down and that's perfectly okay, I just know that if I try to slow myself down a bit I could just end up stopping all together and losing my strive to achieve something. You chose yourself whereas I don't have that choice to make, I must keep going unless my flame will burn out.
I accept your hugs and send you love and huge teddy bears in return :)
Gosh, this post of mine has so many grammar and spelling mistakes it makes me cringe... And so many of silly ones! Truly sorry for that - it makes the text harder to read, but I hope it's still bearable.
@Celaeno haha don't worry about it
This is one of the most beautiful threads on 7cups. Thank you @Discreetacres6234 and @Celaeno for posting this :) This pretty much defines the spirit of the site i.e. how important is to vent and how we all (both as listener and members) are willing to listen and accept. Thank you :)
@Apple74, I'm glad that you like it so much! We both are trying to grow and improve in enduring our struggles, but people like you, who take their time to appreciate it this small gestures of kindness are the reason this community is helping. Your support is really appreciated.
All the best!
@Apple74 this site has so much kindness and love. It's so moving. I can't thank the lovely people on here enough for their support :)
Love - DA
If there were awards going around for the best, most heartwarmingly ,intelligent, insightfully, beautiful post, then THIS would win it!
Reading this has made my night and just made me love this site even more because of the beautiful connections it can help create.
<3
I read this today...and I am deeply touched by the exchange of hearts, the struggling yet beautiful minds here, by Celeano and discreetAcres6234... So wise and so much depth...so much strength. Reading this exchange has sparked a meaning&purpose in my life: to be loved and to love.
@yellowAcres2128 that is so heartwarming. I think we all have a purpose to love others and let ourselves be loved in return. I'm glad we could inspire and move you today :)
@discreetAcres6234 yourself and Celaeno really did inspire me. :) Thank you for this raw exchange. It is really, really beautiful. :)
All the ppl in this thread is just like an ocean of kindness. I love u guys. Celaeno yellow and DA. I really do <3
@politeCup86
a wave of warmth just enveloped me. It is mutual, sending my same amount of love to you, politeCup86 :) I love you too.
we took time to write down how affected we are, caring and supporting one another with words. All of the reaching out, because one just can't bear to see one suffer. Simply wanting to reach out with hand to relieve.
You will never know how much these ripple effects--being supporting&heard--are spread out
@yellowAcres2128 it's sad that we all have reasons for needing such care and support, but it's wonderful that we are all here together to offer it to one another without having to ask.
Reading both yours and @politeCup86 responses make me feel warm inside. It is the raw emotion and unconditional kindness that make this site so great. It's a place of truth, one where you are not judged but understood.
I'm glad we can all be here together :)
@discreetAcres6234
It is, so true, all of it, that you have said. It is hard-breaking to go through painful experiences that, sometimes happen gradually over the years (like in the family, we can be negatively affected from young, without our conscious knowledge of it, if not treated, it would just spill over to adult life) or, sometimes come least expected of (death of a loved one)...So when we can't articulate out verbally, bottling up would only make us snap, yet when nobody is physically around us to understand, or, worse, they say to us to snap out of it, without validating our feelings, we in turn can only seek out other places for relief and support. It is what you said, indeed, so wonderful, at this site, there is a community here to offer such attention and care without having even to ask, simply reaching out vulnerably--this is humanity's unconditional love and acceptance :)
My mind was full of negative thoughts a couple of months ago--all I needed was to pour out and depend on somebody to listen to. I chanced upon this site and got connected to a wonderful listener who knows how to really listen--like what you said, not judging but actively seeking to understand. I broke down crying two times in front of my laptop screen, as I amazingly felt having heard and understood, thereby releasing all the weariness and pain in me.
Healing of my emotions started and took place then. That's why I keep on coming back here. Never would I realise besides listeners to offer comfort, a community of both members and listeners has been formed, offering such safe place to share and lend support and relief. It is in this community that I am privileged to meet yourself, @politeCup86, @celaeno, and all the beautiful souls in the community.
I am glad too, you know, quoting your exact words, we can all be here together :)
@yellowAcres2128 like you, I also fell into very deep and dark depression a few months ago. This is something I've dealt with all my life but a few months ago I just somehow fell really deep. I'm still in the deep end now. Some days are better but then other days life feels overwhelming and I can't help but spend a few days crying over how alone I feel in this world. I would do anything to just feel physical comfort at times like this but it doesn't happen because there is no one to give me that.
When I found this site I was having a very bad day and had no one to talk to about it and it only took one search to find this place where I connected with a listener. She was an amazing listener. It didn't even feel like I was talking to a stranger because we ended up bonding and soon enough the conversation moved away from how I felt to other topics and I honestly felt so much better. I haven't found a listener like her on here since, I miss her.
When I told a couple of my friends that I was talking to people on here they got upset and even a little angry with me because I chose to talk to strangers over them. But they're not the kind of friends who I could talk to, they don't make me feel better. Listeners are here to listen, those friends are only there to turn the conversation onto themselves when I'm the one who needs that focus. My best friend is understanding though, she just wants me to do what I have to in order to feel better. I've been talking to her about things more lately because she wants me to, she wants to know what's going on and she wants to be here for me. There are parts that I keep to myself just so I won't feel like I'm upsetting her, I never want to upset her. Even though she reassures me that I can tell her anything there are some things that I am scared to say.
I feel as if this site is my diary in a way. I tell it my sad moments and dark times. The difference is that people can read it and respond to me. That's something I need in my life, the feeling of being noticed and heard. And the fact that people actually take the time to read what I write and respond, even though they aren't in any way obligated to do so, makes it even more special.
I'm happy that we can all be here for one another to make each other feel noticed and heard :)
@discreetAcres6234 it is difficult to cope with the feelings in you. depression is like a heavy weight pulling you down and many times it takes admirable effort and strength to get through even a day. and there is no one physically close to you to able offer the presence you desire. it doesn't make it any better when your friends get upset when you got the relief you need because it doesn't involve them. *hugsdeep*
yes it is special over here. dark and spiraling down moments are hard and we desperately need to be seen and heard. you are wise to keep some things only to yourself because you know not all things could be shared, even to your best closest friend, as it will only be more painful if not fully understood. it takes strength to do that, you know? and you have that in you. I want to send you all my love and comfort to you again. I believe that there is a fierce spirit in you, to let go and to walk on, even with the darkness you are carrying now.
I am happy that we can all be here too, :) having been heard and noticed--our deepest core needs. :)
@yellowAcres2128 somehow I manage to keep going despite every fiber in my being wanting me to stop. But I know that's not really me talking, I know that my depression is the one trying to hold me down and I can't let it do that to me. Your kind words mean so much to me because I rarely think of myself as strong *hugs*
I just find it will hurt others if I tell them the more personal, dark things. Some battles I can share with others but others I can't, I don't want to put anyone through grief.
Thank you for calling me fierce :) It's a lovely compliment. Christmas is approaching, I don't know what to expect but I'm trying not to get my hopes up too high for this "joyous" season.
@discreetAcres6234 *hug you real tight* strong lady you are, still walking on holding your head high up despite the struggles you are battling with in you.
and see, you are a sensitive being, putting others feelings first than yours. you feel that you would be burdening them with your dark things close to your heart you are fighting on your own. that takes strength. also, it takes a certain degree of maturity, and that is already in you, to discern what things can be shared, and who can be shared to. you are fighting well. that is why I call you fierce--this is what I see in you. *hugstight*
Christmas! Beautiful season! It is a season of giving, not just giving physical presents, but even giving unconditional gifts of attention, gifts of support and gifts of hugs&warmth.
you are loved, babe.:) *hugs*
oh that is really some touching words, i totally understand u all ur pain, i suffered from depression my self for years and till now, and also when my friends and some family knew i was talking to strangers, they were very sarcastic and angry, never got the idea, and i couldn't tell them that u r not kind and understanding enough, i don't need ppl to mock me, i want ppl to understand me like 7cups do....
i'm thankful for you guys and don't we just miss @Celaeno so much
@politeCup86 I want to hug you too! *hugsdeep* depression is not to be taken lightly. I have seen the pain in my younger sister who suffered from deep bouts of depression before and it was hurting so much for me to see. Sometimes, when we are not careful, the people we shared to might in turn put us down thereby resulting in more pain and hurt in our heart, further bring us down in a state worse than before. so, it really takes strength to hold the battles we are weighed down with, as we wait and trust, just for the right people to be put in our paths, when we can be able to slowly let down our guard and be vulnerable to share our inner battles, thereby to receive the support we desperately need.
I am thankful for you too, @politeCup86, you know? :) *hugsagain* I love you. I love you.
I miss @celaeno. yes, I do. I think of her many times.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you @Discreetacres6234 and @Celaeno for these beautiful words. They have inspired me so much. :')
@fadingembers, I'm really happy that you liked our little engage of kindness and sympathy ^^ I hope everything is good to you in this new year. All the best!
From the bottom of my heart, thank you @Discreetacres6234 and @Celaeno for these beautiful words. They have inspired me so much. :')
@discreetacres6234 @celaeno @yellowacres2128 hiw r u guys? I miss u all... miss reading ur posts and letters... i feel lonely... and just wanted to say hi :)
@politeCup86 dearie! you are not alone! :) you are still in my thoughts :) *hugs* I can't write much as it's late at my end here, and just yesterday night I was down with a painful migraine due to work stress. Want to send you my deepest love and comfort to you, politeCup86! :) *hugsyoutight* Stay conscious that you are deeply loved :) ❤️
@politeCup86 and every other kind heart in this thread, I apologize for the radio silence and not answering posts for so long. Right now I feel overwhelmed with work and I try to manage the stress and depression well enough. Replying to your lovely messages require some energy from me, because English isn't my native language, and at the same time I really want to devote my whole attention to your words.
I'm sorry to hear that you feel lonely, but I'm proud that you act on it by reaching out to us. It's awesome to hear from you ^^ Sending you lots of hugs!
@politeCup86 Today has started out rough unfortunately. But I could feel this day coming for a while now and I'm surprised I didn't crack sooner.
I've been busy getting back into the swing of university after the Christmas break so I've been a bit busy. I basically just threw myself into real life things. I do feel that I have been neglecting contact with people but I've just found it a bit difficult to contact others, it doesn't feel like I have anything to say and if I do then it takes too much energy. I also spent a lot of my time reading and now that's all done and I'm not sure where to go from here. This may sound a bit ridiculous but the reason I'm feeling so down right now is because a show that kept me going ended last year and in the past few months I threw myself into reading fanfiction (which I hadn't done in years because it took too much energy) and now I just feel completely heartbroken and lost without it. Fanfiction is a good substitute until you run out of new material. It feels like everyone is moving on and letting go whereas I want to hold on tightly to the thing that was a constant in my life and kept me going as best as I could. I was actually doing fine until now all of a sudden. I feel so overwhelmed by the feeling of being left alone and I'm not even sure what happened to bring on these feelings.
So that's kinda my life update. And I'm trying to finish an essay right now. I'd rather just sleep.
I'm sorry that you've been feeling lonely without us here :( Looks like we're all having a rough time and coping in different ways. Things will get better, I know it. We must practice endurance for now. Sending you lots of love to help you through <3