Tips for Reaching out for Help

With a strong stigma still surrounding the issue of self-harm it can feel especially hard to reach out for help and to open up about these issues to the people around us, even though it can be a really important step in the road to recovery.

Self-harm is usually also just a coping mechanism for other problems or mental illnesses, making it even harder to reach out for help as it requires us to open up about our struggles, while also making us face even more stigma and even the mental illnesses themselves.

There can be so many fears and negative thoughts while trying to reach out for help. I want you to know that:

⭐ You ARE important.
Just like here on 7 Cups, there are people who care about you and want to, and will, help you through this problem – even if it may be hard to believe at times.

⭐ You are NOT a burden and you are NOT bothering anyone by reaching out for help.
The problem with depression and anxiety is that it can make us believe lies like you are a burden, but it can be harder for those who love us to see us suffer while they would be glad to help in order to see us get better and never just look at you like a burden for seeking help with your problems. Seeking support is one of the most brave and positive things you can do with any issue.

⭐ Reaching out for help is NOT just attention seeking.
Even now, it is – still – a horrible misconception that reaching out for support is just attention seeking. While of course it will require the attention of the people you are reaching out to, reaching out is not only for the sake of seeking attention, but is an important step in recovery and is an immensely brave action taken by you by reaching out and showing that you would like to leave this behind.

⭐ It is NOT just whatever or stupid.
Your feelings are always valid and just as important as everyone else's and never stupid and do matter, just like you.

⭐ You are NOT weak because you suffer from this.
While it may feel like that by reaching out for help or just suffering from this alone, you lose the battle of not being strong enough to deal with this, reaching out requires a lot of strength and it is the opposite of being weak.

With these in mind you will still need to find a way to work through all this and reach out to someone, but there are some tips that may be helpful with continuing.

⭐ Take your time.
There is absolutely no pressure or rush, this is your journey and your path to recovery and you can take it at your own pace, no matter how slow it may be. No one has the right to rush you if youre not comfortable.

⭐ Its normal and okay to feel scared.
It always will be and it is totally okay to be scared, and to not be sure what about. Whatever you may feel and it is okay to feel that way it will and does not make your struggles any less valid or important if you may feel unsure, anxious or even scared at the moment.

⭐ There is no bad way of reaching out for help.
Things might not go the way you have planned and most likely things will not happen by the script you have in your head but it is okay. The only important thing is that the other person understands what you are telling them.

⭐ One person at a time.
Reaching out to people can be draining if you have a lot of people around you but you can always just take it one step and one person at a time. Reaching out to one person at a time starting with someone you trust a lot and after that they can help you or comfort you in the future.

⭐ Share as little or as much as you want.
As mentioned above, self-harm is a complicated and delicate issue for the most, but you do not have to open up about everything at once if youre not comfortable. You can share it bit by bit and if people ask you about it you always have the right to tell them that you are not feeling comfortable to share more.

⭐ You can choose the people you are opening up to.
You do not have to open up to everyone. You can open up to a friend but not to your family, or even to a teacher or counselor but not your friends or parents. This is okay. Opening up to one person doesnt mean that you have to open up to everyone right then and there - take your time.

⭐ People may be shocked.
Most people may not know what to say or how to properly react to something like this being shared with them and may struggle finding the right words or how to react in a proper way, but that does not mean you have been not doing it properly. Just give some time to the person or people to process what you have said to them to allow the shock to subside.

⭐ Be realistic.
Of course, people are there to help – friends, family and even us here but sometimes you may face questions that can make you feel uncomfortable, sometimes people may be misunderstanding the issue and therefore may have reactions that make you feel bad, but keep in mind that it can always be just a misconception they have had about this issues and never shy away to share with them if they may react in such ways and help them to help you better.

⭐ Write things down.
Writing things down can be very helpful to prepare to reach out to others and to get your thoughts together as well. You can always reach out using a letter or written communication if youre more comfortable and if you feel like talking could cause too much anxiety or you have other fears.

⭐ It is just one step on the road to recovery.
Reaching out to someone and asking for help can feel like a lot of pressure on you and like now you have to fully recover and just stop it. This isnt true. Reaching out for support does not mean the issue is solved; this is just one step to recovery and nobody expects you to completely recover and come over the issue by reaching out to someone, but they will be there to help you through the rest of your journey – through good and through bad times.

_____________
A biiiig thank you and shout-out for @JaydenIsHere for being the awesomest person ever - and also for helping me proof-reading this ^-^