Consent: What is it? What isn't it?
This thread is sharing information about sexual consent and what it is and isn't.
This one is for Adults over the age of consent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGoWLWS4-kU
For kids and teens under the age of consent: https://youtu.be/h3nhM9UlJjc
What is grooming: https://youtu.be/uNlSPUQ17u0
Recovering from childhood sexual abuse: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWPYJR7p-50
This is a helpful video because it highlights the importance of understanding the point at which we became aware of the abuse and how it changes our perception of our life history, dealing with self blame and shame.
@LifeIsMyCanvas
Thank you for posting this Canvas. I think it cleared up some noise in my head, maybe.
I've really struggled with how to explain some stuff that happened recently. I simply can't say it without triggering myself in a major way. I think I might be able to use the tea analogy to explain it though. It's far enough removed. I tried writing it out that way and I was somewhat okay with it. We'll see.
Again, thank you.
@practicalIdeal2007
aww hun, am really glad it helped you. It gets a bit easier after you start to talk about it, at least in my experience it did... had to give it a few goes before I started to feel it though so be gentle on yourself.
No matter how many times i read about consent and look at the rules, i still cant seem to accept anything but that it was my fault. I still cant call it rape or abuse or assault or anything. I dont even like if someone else were to call it that, because those words imply that it wasnt my fault. It seems so simple but in my head it isnt.
@Npepsicola
It's totally not simple at all, I mean maybe in concept but all of the feelings that go with it makes it anything but simple.
Are you aware of the reason you can't accept it wasn't your fault? I know for me it was that if it was my fault then I could not do what I did to cause it to happen and therefore could stop it happening again... I wasn't right tho and it did happen again but it was still so dang hard to let that go. I hope you find what it is that is causing the block for you and you can resolve it. Let us know if we can help. I'm sending kindness your way
@LifeIsMyCanvas
I guess it just all happened so fast, im so confused by what happened. I know i was just a kid but i was still dumb to be in that situation. And my parents told me that it was my fault. Idk why they would say that if it wasnt. I got punished a lot for it. Its just all really messy. The stuff from when i was a small child should be easier to determine, but it really isnt. I just went along with it. And i shouldve known. Idk. Its all so confusing. Im sorry.
@Npepsicola
I'm feeling exactly the same way. The only way I can even begin to understand what happened is to accept the blame. If I wasn't drunk and didn't go to a house party and didn't let him convince me that it was okay then I wouldn't be where I am today but it's too hard to accept that it wasn't my fault.
I hope that some day I can
Thanks so much for this post, Life. It is very helpful.
@LifeIsMyCanvas Thanks canvas, I needed this and Will go over with the links.
Im struggling with this.. Loads of memories have been popping up of late. And I'm struggling.