A Talk on Self-Care with Harmony

Interviewee: @musicalHarmony

What is your idea of spending a balanced time on 7cups? Share your idea of how a good day looks like on 7cups, for you.

A good day on 7 cups is a day where I feel I have helped someone, big or small doesn't matter, but at the same time I feel I have had the time to spend time with my family and care for myself as well. It's not about the hours spent here, but what you actually do during the time here. Do what gives you energy.

What challenges did you face in trying to strike that balance?

I often find myself getting absorbed by the amount of people needing help or wanting to chat so time seems to fly. If I'm not paying attention I might run out of time to do things IRL and then have to stress about it. In helping people here I also risk burn-out if I don't make sure I find that balance between IRL-life and 7 Cups.

How did you try to deal with those challenges?

I have set boundaries for myself in the past. For example:

• I had a limit to how many discussions I did every week.

• I had Friday-Sunday off from 7 cups.

• I have stepped away from roles to find a balance.

It's important to find "your" thing here. Do what makes you feel good. I have also taken self-care breaks pretty regularly when I have found I need to step away and find a balance again.

What are the benefits of improving your balance for the time you spend on cups?

Believe it or not, but 7 cups is not my world. It will exist, with or without me. My life is outside of 7 cups and the people I surround myself with within my real life are the most important. I care about them, and they care about me. 7 cups members and listeners are also friends, but they are not people I can call in the middle of the night if I need help or a ride home. If we remember that it's also easier to have a healthy balance and not spend too much time here. I'm also certain, once we have balance between real life and 7 cups we are much better listeners in quality and with greater resilience. It's also easier to see things in a bigger perspective.

What message would you like to give to the cupsers who have come to be negatively attached to cups, in one of the many ways?

It is possible to have a healthy balance between 7 cups and your real life. I have some advice I'd like to share with you:

1. Plan your time

Write down your weekly tasks and responsibilities so it's clear to you what you need to do during your week. Use a calendar and schedule time with friends, the gym, dinner plans, children's activities and so on… then schedule your time on 7 cups where it fits into your life (not the other way around).

2. Learn to say no

It's not always easy to say no to a struggling member or you might feel flattered by being suggested or asked to do a certain task here on 7 cups. Listeners here want to help, it's in our nature but it's easy to take on too much or things we don't feel comfortable with.

3. Ask for help

If you feel overwhelmed it's important to take a step away from things and try to sort out what is taking energy and what is giving energy. A mentor can be a great way to figure things out, also the coach team with a lot of experienced mentors can help. If it's related to a subcom maybe a chat with your CML can also be helpful to find a working path for you. There's nothing wrong with asking for help.

4. Log out and unplug your devices

Nowadays many people are available 24/7. Log out of the app, or turn off notifications on 7 cups and your mail to not be available at every hour of the day. Put your phone in another room if you feel the urge to check it every 5th minute. This will give more quality time with family and friends whether it's having dinner together or watching a movie.

5. Care for yourself

If you don't take care of your mental and physical health the risk is you will not be as good as you are if you have. Schedule time for self-care to recharge and let your body rest. There is time for everything but it might need some planning ahead.

Harmony

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This interview is part of the A Talk on Self-Care Interview Series. Learn more here