Addiction addict

I think I’m addicted to being addicted. I’m always thinking about my addictions and I can’t improve. I used to be able to quit things cold turkey when I wanted too but now, no matter how much I try, I can’t. I can’t stop smoking cigarettes, vaping weed, binge drinking. I realized that even my terrible habits of ripping at my nails and cuticles gives me a rush. I know I shouldn’t, and while I do it, I think I should stop, but I do it anyway every single time and feel pain and satisfaction. I hate myself after, as my fingers bleed. It’s embarrassing. I realize I feel the same feeling when I smoke, or vape or drink or sneak extra snack when I know I shouldn’t.. everything I do is a bad habit