I want to change but I just can't seem to.
I don't have a substance addiction, however I have this addiction to lying. And when I mean lying, I don't go around telling stories or anything that aren't true. Most of everything I say are true. But when it comes to my family and husband, when they ask a question and I feel like they are not going to like the answer I lie and tell them what they want to hear. Even when I know that they won't get mad if I tell them the truth. I do it without thinking. The lie just come running out and after I say I feel like I can't go back now and I keep going with it. And my husband is really good about knowing when I do it and calls me out on it, but at that point I get anxiety cuz he keeps telling me that it needs to stop and I just messed up again and if I back down now he will be so mad at me but then he is like I know your lying and that's when I freeze. I got caught and I hate myself for getting there. I don't want to do it, and I do try but idk I let my anxiety get the best of me and in the end it only makes it worse. I don't know how to stop, and it is destroying my marriage and my husband is like I can't take anymore. And I get it, he shouldn't have to. I'm addicted to lying and I can't stop. It's like my Brian just reacts this way and by the time I realized what I've said it's to late.
@versatilePear4901
I have this problem too... you're not weird. I think it's part of anxiety and once the brain starts these instinctlike, protective, automatic responses, it's hard to break them. I'm still working on this, and sometimes I fail, but the important thing is to try and be aware of yourself when in conversation. It sounds cliched but try to think before you open your mouth to speak. When you have to decide between saying the truth and saying what you think might be what they want to hear, stop reacting and take a moment to consider your response. Will they be angry by you expressing an opinion? If they are, does that necessarily mean your opinion is wrong or less important? In the long run, what will matter most?
It's not easy. When your brain makes these habitual, automatic responses, usually it is a protective measure, to protect you from getting hurt by a rejection or something like this, and once they begin, they are like pathways in your mind. The more you do them, the more trodden down the path gets and the easier it is to do them without meaning to, and since they probably began a long time ago, before you can even remember (at least, that's true of me), these paths are set firmly. I don't know if this is the best way, I'm no expert, but it works for me to be conscious of myself when I'm in a situation where I know this is a danger. Take one or two deep breaths before responding, and use that time to manually redirect your brain from this well-trodden, easy path. Think of an alternate response - it doesn't even have to be something controverial or anything, just something that you wouldn't have said if you hadn't stopped the automatic reaction. Ask a question, say you understand what they mean instead of immediately agreeing with them, or just say 'I can see why you feel that way'. It doesn't matter - you can simply smile and nod, or change the subject, or not say anything at all. The important thing is to STOP the reaction, stop walking on that familiar path, and create new paths for your mind to explore, and once your brain figures out that nothing terrible happened when you didn't immediately respond submissively, it won't feel the need to continue making up a lie to protect you. Acknowledge that your brain is trying to do you a service, to protect you from getting hurt - it just goes about it in the wrong way.
It takes time. I'm still working on it. But you can do! Stop, breathe, think, react. I repeat that to myself a lot, and it helps. I hope this helps you a little too :) Hang in there 
@lonelylinguaphile
It's good to know I'm not alone in this. Your advice is really helpful and I will definitely try it. There is just so much to work on and keep on mind. I think it does come from a deep rooted fear of rejection and never being good enough. I wish you the best in life and thank you for your support and help.
@versatilePear4901
I'm so glad I could help. I too have very strong fears of rejection and not being good enough, and these have led me to become very depressed at times. But with help, things do get easier. I'm learning slowly to challenge these fears with the facts, and sometimes it seems pointless, but its actually helping. I can recommend a book about how to do this, if you are interested? It was recommended to me for helping me get to the bottom of my depression and to cope with and quiet these fears, and I'm finding it very helpful. Let me know if you would like to know - if not, that's okay. Thanks for your best wishes, and here's mine to you! Take care :)
