22M – Struggling with Porn Addiction, Heartbreak, and Loneliness

I'm a 22-year-old guy from Bangladesh, working 12-hour shifts (8 AM to 8 PM) at a medical store. Life's been feeling heavy lately, and I just needed a place to let it all out.

I’ve been addicted to porn and masturbation since I was 12. I’ve seriously been trying to quit for the past 5 years, but I keep relapsing. It's taken a toll on both my mental and physical health—especially my confidence, energy, and even my penile health. Social media, especially ***, is a major trigger for me.

Emotionally, I feel drained. The guilt after every relapse is intense. I don’t have anyone I can talk to about this. My parents don’t know, and I’m terrified of how they’d react if they ever found out.

I was in a 4-year relationship with someone I truly loved. I never touched her because I believed in staying loyal until marriage. But she ended up cheating on me. That broke me. Since then, I’ve stopped believing in love. It feels like a trap that only leads to pain. I’ve chosen to stay single now—I’m happier that way, or at least I tell myself I am.

Physically, I think I look decent, but I’m underweight and want to gain some mass to feel stronger and more confident.

Right now, I’m just trying to stay afloat. If anyone relates or has advice, I’d appreciate it. Even just reading this means a lot.