Anxiety

Even a little thing makes me so so so anxious, I'm out of words to describe how I feel , I have been into rehab for Abt 7 months ? Just because I was so anxious and was smoking hella lot , but inside rehab they weren't really nice , they blamed most of the thing on me and demotivated me several times I broke into tears I used to be so so silent there after coming out of rehab I got so mentally weak even the little things now makes me overthink , today I had the mildest stomach ache and constipation most probably due to eating so less but my mind made up I had stomach blockage and I cried for hours , and my bf? He always pretends to be so concerned but he's the other reason I can't control my feelings I used to hit myself bcs of him at midnight I was never like this before . Counselor in rehab? They only seek money and nothing else least bothered about how I feel , after that I can't even trust counselors i always feel like a burden I stay alone with my father and grandfather i have responsibilities even though we have househelps still i need to look after them because they are getting old , I want to see my mother but I can't because she humiliates me so much calls me criminal and stuff i can't bear those words ,i couldn't even complete school (only the last year) i stress about my career aswell i don't know what to do my eyes are flooding while writing this down