Becoming aware 😢

I was just recently told “I need help” and that I have a “serious drinking problem”. I started to question if maybe I do.

He said I became aggressive, but what I recall I don’t believe I did. None the less, my memory is foggy and not all I can remember clearly. After saying that, maybe I do have a problem I haven’t been wanting to recognize and accept. I just wished he would have been better with his approach when he said that to me.

At the moment I’m feeling a lot of emotions that I can’t quiet figure out. Most of all I feel ashamed and lonely. My life has taken an unexpected turn and I’m faced with difficulties I didn’t think I’d be dealing with at this point in life. He was someone I thought I could trust and ultimately that’s not the case.

I told him I was sorry that I didn’t mean to hurt him. This had been the first time something like that has ever happened. The way he treated me after is what I’m having a hard time with. This is someone I’ve known for years and he treated me like someone he had just met.

I will take accountability for my “episode”. I did over do it and perhaps I got physical with him. I am currently looking for help to stop drinking, but I’m mostly hurt the way he treated me after. I keep telling myself that I need to find a positive out of this terrible action.

Im confronting my drinking problem, I apologized to him, but it wasn't enough for him. It does hurt because this was someone I really cared about and he treated me like a nobody. I wasn’t given a chance to make it right. He made me feel broken, crazy, ashamed, dirty, and empty. 😢. I do feel terrible about having hurt him but how can I try to fix something I wasn’t given a chance to fix?

thanks for listening. Maybe I just needed to finally say it to be able to move forward with my life. Im striving to make my life better and healthier.