Help. Stuck in it for very long have to immediately break it else will fail my degree.

I am reaching out because I have been struggling for several months to quit using cannabis, and despite gaining significant insight into my behavior, I feel unable to break the cycle.

I understand my triggers, cues, and patterns quite clearly. I recognize that my use began as a poor decision, but it has evolved into something more—an ongoing attempt to escape discomfort, mental stress, or difficult emotions. Even with this awareness, I find myself repeatedly falling back into the same loop.

Currently, I am in an environment where I frequently end up using cannabis with someone I am close to. There are interpersonal complications in this situation, and I also feel uncomfortable about being dependent or “freeloading.” Despite knowing that this setup is not aligned with my values or goals, I continue to engage in it, often at the cost of my studies and mental clarity.

This pattern has begun to affect multiple areas of my life. My relationships with family and close individuals have suffered. I experience frequent emotional instability, including episodes of unexplained crying. I also feel a growing disconnect between my actions and my deeper aspirations, including a desire for personal and spiritual alignment.

I have also noticed changes in my thought patterns and behavior, including intrusive or unwanted sexual thoughts and subsequent actions that leave me feeling distressed and out of control. These experiences contribute to a sense of guilt, frustration, and internal conflict.

The cycle I experience is repetitive and difficult to interrupt:

I begin by using cannabis.

While under its influence, I question my actions and feel disconnected and regretful.

I continue using in multiple rounds.

Afterward, I return to my space feeling mentally impaired and guilty.

I attempt to regain control through meditation or productivity, but these attempts are ineffective.

I may engage in further behaviors I regret, such as compulsive sexual activity.

I attempt to study or recover, gain brief momentum, but eventually relapse into the same pattern.

Despite making efforts over the past couple of weeks, I have not been able to sustain change. I now have an important exam approaching in about a week, which adds urgency and stress to the situation.

At this point, my immediate goal is to stop completely for at least 30 days (cold turkey), as a starting step toward regaining control. However, I am aware that my coping mechanisms and responses are currently inadequate, even though I understand the problem intellectually.

I am seeking professional help to:

Break this behavioral cycle

Develop healthier coping mechanisms

Address underlying emotional or psychological factors

Regain consistency, focus, and alignment with my goals