Hi
I’m really struggling .I think I have a *** addiction . I’ve been hypersexual since I was a kid. When I was 8 use to get sexually assaulted by one of my friends she use to do it to me everytime we would meet up she would also watch porn with me . Then when I was 12 I had a really bad porn addiction like so bad I use to not be able to enjoy a day without the thought of coming back home to watch it it was a daily thing and I felt disgusting and guilt it was actually ruining me . Then I just quit it . later when I was 14 one of my friends told me about *** and how good it feels and it became a horrible addiction I did it everyday I felt disgusting I use to cry because of how bad it would make me feel but I couldn’t stop . I’m 17 now and I still struggle with it I don’t do it daily but I think about it daily I always just think in a sexual way I hate it and i think its because of what I experienced as a child .I really wish I just was introduced to it . I wish I was normal .
@littleMaple7883
Please firstly know that you are normal. I'm so sorry you were abused in such a horrible way. When we view porn or engage in sexual activities our bodies react in a pleasurable way, and it's enjoyable and a release for many and in many ways is a healthy part of adult life but tge lines were blurred for you because your trust was taken away and that's why it feels horrible and unnatural. Some porn is too extreme and when it stops satisfying urges, people move on to darker material thats unrealistic and has no respect or intimacy and isolates us. Its important to slowly, spend less time watching it, day by day until you are not needing it anymore. Replace it with exercise or something that releases stress and endorphins and makes you feel good. You are not a horrible person in anyway at all and you deserve real and healthy relationships 💜🥰
