I’m stuck in a loop of making/watching PMVs and can't stop. How do I break this trance? Need advice.

"Hey guys, I really don't know how to start this thread. I’ve consumed pornography for many years of my life, and I've only been 'fighting' it for six, if you can even call it fighting. From 2020 until part of 2022, I managed to keep some good streaks going without consuming; the longest one I had was 3 months and 9 days, which I feel very proud of. However, after relapsing, everything went downhill. It was a time when I suffered a lot of losses, and after having removed porn for 3 satisfying months, I fell into the darkest abyss.

It all started by consuming new categories, even the kind of stuff that has nothing to do with you, the kind you swear you'll never watch. It went from trying out 'porn experiences' in real life to eventually becoming an editor for PMV (Porn Music Video) or GOON PMV videos—you know, those musical porn videos that people edit. Since last year, I started consuming this type of content on a website whose name I won't mention. All kinds of edits with 'normal' pornographic content are uploaded there, but with editing that takes it to levels you would never reach even by watching the hardcore stuff. The way these videos are edited, the amount of suggestive messages they are loaded with, and of course, the magnificent 4K and 8K resolutions make this content extremely addictive. And me, without a second thought, I let myself get captivated by it as if something had possessed me. I downloaded video editing software, filled my PC's memory with high-resolution porn videos, and using various editing techniques I had learned back in school and college, I started creating my own edits.

Although there's a lot to tell about those editing processes, I don't want to make this thread any longer for you. I can only tell you that, on average, I would use up to 40 porn videos to make a 5-6 minute edit, and up to 70 if they were longer. It's an absurd amount, I know, but when I was in that 'trance,' 70 videos felt like very little to me. At first, making an edit could take me up to 5 days, dedicating a block of time to it in the afternoons. When I got good at it, I could do it in just a day and a half of continuous work—literally only stopping to go to the bathroom and when I remembered that I hadn't eaten or drunk any water. I ended up making a total of 40 edits or more, honestly I lost count, from July 2025 until April 2026, when I decided I had to stop.

The last video I made almost cost  my life in more ways than one. My channel had thousands of subscribers and millions of cumulative views across all videos, but me, I was in the most depressing episode of my life. I don´t make any money from it and my brain was so overloaded with porn that I forgot everything: eating, drinking, showering... I neglected my pet, my family, my friends, All I thought was (and still) Porn . And even though I decided to delete the channel, stop making edits, and stop consuming pornography altogether, I haven't even been able to stop consuming, I c*m 3-4 times a day 24/7 and yesterday I made another edit. I know you're going to tell me to seek help, but right now, this is the only help I can look for."