Issues

Alcohol and bpd

So I had a friends group ( people I used to drink with on weekends ) and that’s how o met my now ex bf. 3 years ago. We would make up and get back toualqays argue and cause drama. I would mostly cause drama and say not nice things. Few weeks ago apparently I pushed my female friend from the group to the point she now blocked me and doesn’t wanna be my friend ( I black out drunk most of the time ) I have bpd. Anyway I could sense the group stopped liking me. I also cheated on my bf at the time twice and they were aware of it. So the guys from the group u could tell fell out with me but spoke because of the sake of the group. My mental state wasn’t and isn’t the best tbh. Lazy week my bf now ex said he had enough and broke up with me fully again and said he wishes me the best and that I get help. He went out with them. Well he went there with his other friends to the place we as a group hang out. Then on the Sunday my other female friend just blocked me everywhere with no explanation. I belive it’s because of all the drama and she had enough as well. But it still hurts loosing everyone.

Ads they right not wanting to be my friend ?