I've been addicted to pornography since I was 12.

@Krv

Hello and welcome to seven cups 💜 🥰 

Thank you for your honesty.

I know, that cannot have been easy to say.

P..orn is not the problem, it's healthy and a natural part of growing up, but it's when we become fixated.

It's about temporary gratification but when this no longer satisfies us, we chase more.

And we end up watching worse and worse things that are not reflective of what actually happens in a normal, loving and healthy relationship, creating false expectations .

This is why it's hard to talk to girls because p..orn turns them from girls and women into mere objects meant for our gratification, creating a false sense of entitlement and not taking individual likes and feelings into consideration.

It's important to slowly start day by day to watch less, and swap it for a healthier and physical activity, and get out in the world socialising and making real friends.

💜💕

@KrvIt sounds like you’ve been carrying a lot on your own and that this has been hard for a long time. You’re noticing how watching porn became a way to cope with loneliness and stress, and it’s really strong of you to be honest about that. You’ve already taken an important first step by sharing what’s going on and recognizing the patterns. You deserve support and healing, and it’s okay to take small steps toward that — whether that’s finding healthier ways to cope, talking to someone you trust, or reaching out for guidance when you’re ready. You’re not alone in this.

@Krv you are really brave to identify it's becoming an addiction. I did too but a bit too late. As @Amanda84 said porn only becomes a problem when we get fixated. Some people say it's okay if it's occasional but only people with addiction know how deep this 'occasional' thing could drag us down. So I'm happy you're trying to let go and I'm here if you want to talk.

@Krv

welcome to seven cups Krv!! 💙

it’s honestly been such a pleasure getting to know you, and i really mean that. i’m so proud of you for opening up about this..  know that kind of honesty isn’t easy, but you did it anyway, and that takes courage. we’re a community for a reason, and you’ve got people here who truly want to support you (:

admitting that something feels out of control is often the very first step toward real change. you’re definitely not alone in this. so many people your age deal with the same struggle, way more than you’d think. and Amanda made some really solid points!!  you’re already moving in the right direction just by being willing to talk about it.

in case nobody has told you today yet, we are ALL super proud of you!

Hi there Krv, I’m sorry to hear of your struggles with porn addiction. I started watching when I was 11 and just kicked the habit about 2 years ago (I am 24). I was also unaware of the negative effects it would have on me, and the unrealistic expectations it would give me.

I was able to stop because I got a partner, and felt guilty watching when I had him in my life already. This same partner; we dated for the first time in 2020 and he actually got me to stop PRODUCING porn of myself. We are now happily engaged and I no longer have the urge to watch pornography.

But as you stated, you get super anxious near girls. I am so sorry it’s had this effect on you. Pornography is like any other drug in my eyes: You have to wean yourself off of it. You can’t just quit straight up or else you’ll have a relapse, but that is my opinion. Maybe that’s not true for other people.

I would say try to lessen how much you watch. Slowly reduce the amount of porn you watch, and eventually you may not have the urge to watch anymore. You could try to go from videos, to GIFs, to images, and then nothing at all. Eventually you may be able to go without; I believe you can do it.

During this time period of reducing your porn usage, I would say try to smile at a few girls from a distance. Maybe after you get comfortable with that, wave at them. Then work your way up to saying “hello” while passing by a girl. After you get comfortable with that, try asking a girl “how are you doing?”. This is exposure therapy. Exposing yourself to your fear and slowly building yourself up enough to be able to talk to them.

Porn, like any other drug, can be an escape, yes. But like you said, it is temporary. Try to keep that in mind. Perhaps you have hobbies or interests you could slowly start to focus on instead? For example, I like drawing, watching anime, and going for walks. Doing these things helped me kick my porn addiction, as well as keeping in mind that the people that love me would not want for me to suffer with that addiction.

I am wishing you the best. Please take care. Stay safe, especially online. You CAN beat this. I have hope for you.