Need comfort

Hello all, I drink every night, and I’m tapering myself off but I feel like I need it to regulate my emotions it makes me feel comfortable in my mind and body (less anxiety, no withdrawal shakes) but it makes me say rude things to my loved ones - nothing too crazy but if they’re sensitive or it didn’t get communicated elegantly- sometimes I can feel them withdraw, like last night I woke up at like 1am and texted a girl (bestfriend - in the talking stages of a relationship). I texted her why didn’t you call me, and I thought that wasn’t anything too bad but before I took my nap I texted her “if I don’t call, I’m sleep” which is pretty insensitive to her wanting to talk to me. I feel like I’m just too nonchalant when I drink, anyways, thanks for coming to my Ted talk lol. I’m working on tapering now and It’ll work out for me as long as I stay on track. It’ll work out with her too I’ll show her the love, dedication, and consistency she needs.