Starting over
I don't know how many times I have had this day one. As soon as I don't have anything to do, i resort to drinking. It's ruining my life and mental state but I don't see this ending because I hide it so well. I just lie to everyone around me and then feel guilty and shame and don't think I deserve to get any better.
@redmack678 I wish I could convince you that you deserve to get better, your life matters, You matter! It's common for someone to hide their addiction, I did the same thing as many others! Do you have someone close to you to support you? We are here for you! We care for you, even if we are strangers! If you feel like you ruined your life and your mental state due to drinking, what's stoping you from getting sober? Don't allow guilt and shame to bring you down. Hiding it and lying it can be part of the addiction.
"Addiction is giving up everything for one thing, Recovery is giving up one thing for everything."
Thank you for your response. Just getting through day one again, I feel better today.
I am going through exactly the same thing and I am scared. 
@Dolorada How have you been doing? Stay strong and keep fighting, you've got this. Keep in my mind that if your symptoms get too intense ask for someone's help. Alcohol withdrawal can be dangerous. Stay strong, wish you all the best
I am not going too well. I am told if I stop cold turkey I could have seizures and die.
So I am scared to drink because it is so harmful to my body and mind and I am scared to sto
I really am not sure because even iIf I use the cut back method it doesn’t work with me.
I also don’t have the luxury of going to a clinic because I have to work. To take medication zonks me out and I need to stay alert for my job.
I will call the clinic today and see if they can book me in with a psychiatrist.
I hope you are doing well?