Struggling

I'm honestly not even sure where to start, but I guess that's part of why I'm here.

I'm 26, and lately I've been realizing just how much of my life I've spent trying to survive things instead of actually healing from them.

I'm currently struggling with an Adderall addiction, and while that's something I'm actively trying to get help for, I'm also starting to recognize that the addiction itself is only one piece of a much bigger picture.

I've been in a relationship for almost 10 years, and things have been really difficult emotionally. I'm struggling with attachment, feeling disconnected, and trying to figure out how to love someone without completely losing myself in the process.

I'm also beginning to understand how much my childhood, past experiences, and the things I never really dealt with have shaped who I am today, both in my relationships and in the ways I cope with difficult emotions.

I think I'm just at a point where I know something needs to change. I want to understand myself better, break patterns I've carried for years, and figure out who I am outside of everything I've been through.