Can't stop smoking weed. Help.

I am heavily smoking marijuana to self treat a hyper thyroid. More specifically it's called Graves Disease.. my thyroid basically won't stop producing the hormone. I get zero sleep most nights, on the nights that I'm lucky I'll get 2 or 3 tops. I have to force myself to eat even the tiniest food. I have no control over my emotions, with severe anger outbursts. I am constantly sweating and shaking, I have panic attacks and crippling anxiety where all I can do is just pace around my house. I feel like a tweaker to be honest, the way my thyroid is effecting me makes me look like I'm insane. I hate it, I just want it to go back to normal. The doctor has 2 more tests for me to do before he creates a treatment plan. So for now I just have to manage these symptoms the best I can. Well as I know from previous experience in the past with weed, the effects of it greatly improve my symptoms. I am able to fall asleep a little longer than normal, I can eat something, and my emotions calmed. But the issue is, I'm a Christian. And all while it helps my symptoms, it's keeping me away from prayer and my Bible. And the worst part about it is, my husband HATES IT. He knows I'm going through this but he just doesn't understand. And it's not a cheap habit. I'm afraid to quit, because without weed my symptoms progress into daily suicidal thoughts, that I keep trying to ignore. Trapped.. I know I have to stop smoking, but I'm afraid for what will happen. I'm just trapped, scared