Love Addiction
I know it's not really considered an legitimate addiction, or maybe in a metaphorical sense, yes. But it may be more of a combination of codependency, anxiety and people pleasing traits. Still, I call it Love Addiction.
That term just sounds true to me. I crave love, I crave emotional connection. I crave understanding. I crave trust. I crave acceptance. I crave validation. I feel guilty whenever I upset someone. It makes me feel unworthy, and living with a person who repeatedly makes me feel unworthy, a person who does not forgive me for my honest mistakes. I know that I don't deserve this treament, and I deserve real love. But I still somehow crave this person's love. I still believe that I can get it from her. But at the same time, I'm scared of her gaslighting me. I hate that I have to live with her for a few more years, so I can heal myself.
@philosophicalGrapefruit8447
Hello Grapefruit
Yes I agree codependency, anxiety and people pleasing can be 'addictive' behaviours. But I think underneath them all is a very earnest attempt to get our legitimate needs met. Love, emotional connection, acceptance, validation and understanding are basic human needs. It is not a weakness to crave them, just like craving water when we are thirsty is a totally normal survival instinct. We are often taught they are weaknesses but this is not true, we are humans and primates, and connection is essential for our well-being and survival.
It sounds like the person you are living with you is not able to connect or give love you all that you crave at this time, but you still are very attached to her - maybe in an unhealthy attachment style, and maybe with poor communication or behaviour habits between you. It might take the pressure off if you could meet some needs of understanding and connection from other people - friends, like-minded people, support groups, counsellors/therapists.
