The addict inside of me
Addiction runs in my family. Ive known this since I was young and have tried to be aware of any substances I may be using too much or too frequently.
i started getting in deep with alcohol back in college and stopped drinking so I wouldnt go down that path. I started getting dependent on weed and stopped that in its tracks about 5 years ago. But now Im realizing that Ive developed an insidious addiction... it may sound strange but Im addicted to flour and sugar.
Ive been a binge eater on and off for four years now. Ive been trying to stop since I started but its become harder and harder. Now Im trying to learn about recovery from the viewpoint of addiction because I feel like I am powerless with this situation.
Ive lost and gained so much weight over the past few years and I now want to try a different approach. Im hoping that by working on my mental health, and learning about recovery, emotional sobriety and how to cope with life in general, that my binge eating problem will be healed.
Im open to any feedback you have. Thanks for reading.
@blueBeach6823 I just wanted you to know you're alone in this battle!! Im here for you so let me know if I can help!😀😀
@redLime8841
thank you so much. I feel so ashamed of my problem, no one in my family knows and I have this stubborn belief that I will be able to solve it on my own without revealing my problem to them.
Being on here and admitting these problems to strangers seems better than trying to deal with it on my own. Maybe one day Ill have the courage to open up to people I know face to face.
@blueBeach6823 opening up to family may be one of the hardest things to do. I still haven't opened up to more than one person in my family, nor am i ready to do so. Although, I'd definitely recommend therapy! A therapist can really help you to consistently express your addiction to someone you can trust. And, if you really believe that you have a problem, then admitting it to a person/people you see often/occasionally can help you make progress in so many ways. Telling them doesn't mean the thing(s) you're addicted to will be gone the next day, but it can help keep you accountable in the future. And, eventually, you may find yourself with enough support and strength to become independent of your addictions. Good luck with your battle! Addiction is an ugly beast that infiltrates the lives of many and destroys many of those lives. But, you are able to overcome it! You just need to decide that you are willing to overcome it too! :)
I use to think I had a strong mind and could never get addicted to anything. I didnt drink, smoke, do drugs, have any eating disorders, dont gamble, or shop, etc.
However, I cane to realize a few years back (on my own) that Im addicted to love.. I use to jump in and out of relationships without fail. I was literally addicted to that honeymoon phase of relationships. It made me happy and it was exciting!
Once that phase ended, I usually got bored and broke things off. Also, this pattern of mine astems from me needing validation and love from others. I really dont know who I am when Im single. Relationships and the people I was with, basically defined who I was.
Not even done work yet and thinking of slipping up fuck
@Chunksofweed I know exactly how you feel. Relapse, feel guilty about it, 5 mins later craving it again.
@blueBeach6823
The ke phrase is "how to cope with life in general". I am an alcohol and tobacco addict and my addictions have this root (besides genetic): not being able to cope with life...everything stresses me, even the tinyiest thing like paying bills or walking on the street...stress that I need to compensate with my unhealthy addictions when infact I had so many other healthy things that gave me pleasure but somehow it entered my mind that I am not worthy of them anymore and jist self destruct slowly in my afdictions...so you touched the very essence of addiction as concerns me...I feel for you deeply...
I like this thread. I am not coping with life in general. But it's not because I hold back or don't have support. If I tell you all the things I do to cope, you would tell me I am doing so great. That's what I always get. And yet, I feel so alone among people who love me! So not heard by people who are listening to me!
Today is the new year. And I am not drinking and not smoking weed. Instead I am crying. I don't know if I have an addiction problem. I don't so much need a drink as some way to feel better. And a drink will surely do it, especially in combination with weed. It seems irrational to stay miserable when doing something could make you happy. Right?
Wrong. So my family is playing games. I am up in my bedroom crying.
I could pick any one of them to talk to - and I will walk away feeling better, but a little more dejected because I won't feel heard. Talking does help just from hearing my thoughts out loud. But not enough.
Drinking, weed, talking. Work. Work always helps. Because it's intense , it's full of people and things and crises. I can get out of my head.
Being in my head is bad. Have a drink.
And that's what not coping looks like. Alcohol weed, talking, work, food. Especially with weed. Yummy. Then I wake up and I want to change my life. I start. Eventually I need a drink.
