Adult Child of an Alcoholic

That's me! An adult child of an alcoholic -- my father. I moved out of my parents house a year ago and I've had little to no communication with my dad, purposefully. He's broken my trust so many times!! I've addressed his addiction to his face, gently, telling him how it hurts me and all. He's been back and forth with his response, either saying "sorry" and walking into the liquor store anyways, admitting to the addiction and promising to get help but never following through, or saying that he doesn't have a problem and treating me like I'm making things up.

My grandparents feel bad for him 99% of the time and neglect to recognize that not only is he an alcoholic, but he's also emotionally abused my mother and I for as long as I can remember. I'm exhausted.

I feel like I've been driving along, trying to jam to my music, doing my thing, but I ran over a big stick that got stuck in my wheels and now all I hear is the scratching and scraping of the stick behind me. And no matter how many times I swerve around to try and shake the stick off, nothing works. And it's completley distracting me from continuing down the road and listening to what I love and thrive with.

I feel so worn out and hopeless. I feel so alone. I want this to be over.