Partner's gaming addiction
Hi!
I've recently moved in with my boyfriend and I am struggling with his gaming behaviour. Important to mention ever since we've been together we have also gamed together. I'm relatively new to gaming, really got more into it after our relationship started.
The only fights and arguments we have ever had have been game related. Specifically, team competitive games (e.g. smite, pubg). He was very criticizing if I made any mistake. I improved a lot so this isn't a big issue anymore, although he would downright scream at me. "Training" to "get good" at the games he loved was pretty much a bootcamp for me.
My current issue is that in any team situation when another team member (including him) makes a repeated mistake that gives the entire team a disadvantage and I complain about it, my boyfriend will twist and turn it and it somehow becomes my fault.
Our relationship is good out of games, but while we're gaming (and we're gaming most of our free time now with covid-19), he's just impossible to deal with, he's unfair and I feel like he never has my back. You would be surprised how many arguments we have had over games.
I'm looking for a listener that's also a gamer to hopefully discuss the situation in more detail. Tonight ended up in a fight, again. They're getting uglier.
Hello there! I’m sorry you’ve been having negative experiences gaming with your boyfriend. My husband and I have been playing video games since we were both very young so it’s been a large part of our everyday lives, before and after we got together. Playing games together has resulted in us arguing before but we’ve both been very good about keeping it game related and leaving it in the game/out of everyday life. We can both be sassy and sarcastic with each other but if it’s something that really hurts our feelings we tell each other right away as not to build negativity, ya know? We have been together for eight years, married for one, so I feel we’re really comfortable talking about most everything but I know everyone is different so of course everyone’s relationship is different. I dunno if I can help fix your problem but I can definitely lend an ear from a fellow gamer with a partner who games, as well. :)
Well I understand you don't have much experience with gaming and it's alright because it takes time. Yelling is no solution or being rude what he should do is simply give you tips or help you. I understand games can get stressful but at the end of the day you can always try again. If he refrains from helping you I suggest to play separately. Sometimes if you don't see eye to eye you've got to try things on your own. Maybe play alone some times and see if you can get better by yourself without feeling stressed.
I feel you. You know, gaming addiction is one of the most serious ones. As many people can't recognize it at the beginning, they get into it deeper and deeper. All I want to recommend is to pick up a reliable website to play on. I know, it can sound weird, but it worked for me. If the game you play is fair you start to lose interest with time as you don't have to risk anymore. If you do not lose, you don't need to play again.
There's two type of addictions. Substance and behaviour addiction. The new fast growing addiction these day is behaviour addiction like smartphone, internet, social media, video games, p0rn is worrying.