There is hope

My partner is a addict. I really do not like to address him as a addict as I do not see him through this lens but as he says “I am a addict, I always will be as it is a lifelong illness”. When we started dating he was almost one year into his recovery. He was doing amazing, exercising daily, doing addiction programming 5 days a week, going to meetings daily. He was very healthy and I really thought that things were going to stay this way. I had my eyes opened to how bad his addiction was when one of his friends was released from jail. He thought he was strong enough to be in a relationship with this friend. He was at first but it didn’t take long before past behaviours resurfaced and triggers presented themselves. He relapsed. Then again and again. Over the next few months I really struggled with the relapses he was having. Yet at the same time I was learning so much about it. If you are familiar with addiction you can understand that I became quite obsessed with my partner. Constantly watching him, watching for signs, telling him that he needs to stay sober or else, that’s he can’t hang out with certain people. I was doing this because I love and care for him but I was almost treating him like a child. This really negatively impacted our relationship. I could write for hours the struggles we went through however, the most important thing i want to say is. No matter how bad things are there is hope. I am so thankful so many things his honesty, his commitment to his recovery, his love for me and his knowledge surrounding his addiction. He knew exactly what he needed to do. I watched him hit many barriers but today he is in a 4 month treatment and he is doing amazing. I know his illness is not healed, I know we have a long road a head of us but I am thankful for where he is at today, Be patient, be kind, he understanding, love your loved one with addiction. They need you, they need love and support. Yelling, shaming, giving ultimatums will only further the addiction. The opposite of addiction is connection. Thank you for reading,