Boyfriend addicted to porn
Hello! So I just found out my boyfriend of 4 years, had a secret Instagram following only women, and sending messages and requesting videos and pictures. I’m trying so hard to understand and help, but at the same time, I’m so angry with him and hurt. That’s like emotional cheating! He also can’t sleep or feels restless and anxious if he doesn’t take care of himself, which now I see why, and when we have sex, he can’t finish anymore. It’s like I’m not enough for him. I’m so hurt. I need advice. Should I walk away or stay and help. I recommended counseling and he agreed.
@jbm3311 That sounds like a stressful and upsetting discovery. Counseling sounds like a solid start so that the two of you can get some helpful advice on how to move forward. I know it hurts, as I've actually had a similar situation (in my distant past), and I'm sending a virtual hug of support as you figure things out. Take care.
@jbm3311
I understand that this might be tough for you..... But it is the same for him too.
I advise that you stick with him and try to help him stop, it's probably triggered by something... You can start from there
Ok! I can help a bit here. Ive been in 3 major relationships where my partner has been a porn addict. Which is what it sounds like your boyfriend is. Its traumatising for you, so be kind to yourself and remember there isnt anything wrong with you. He obviously has an addiction. If hes willing to work things out, be honest and break the addiction their might be hope for you. Its a long long hard road. So choose wisely. Things that can help. Look into 'fight the new drug' and a website and app called 'fortify' its an app made to help people quit porn addiction, very much like AA and you can be his 'ally' and help and support him. There is also a website called 'Bloom' and its all stuff to help partners of porn addicts recover as it is very traumatic and its classed as betrayal trauma. As porn addiction is a form of sexual betrayal in relationship. Counceling would be good too if you can find someone who is experienced in pornography addiction and betrayal trauma. I left my first husband because of his porn addiction. I dont regret this action at all. I stayed with my second husband after I found out about his addiction. After 5 years he left me because he thought porn addiction was fine and didnt want to change. My current partner is a recovered addict, hes been porn free for months and months, and I love him and I respect him for how much effort he has put into fighting it and being honest and accountable. In the end its your decision if you stick with your boyfriend. Sometimes I regret staying with my.partner, it hurts, and there are good days and very bad days. Hope this helps!!
